My Bitch Button is on Mute!

Published September 6, 2012 by starsmoonandsun

I have been thinking lately about the way in which I communicate with others. I’m very direct in speech, its odd some people say they respect that type of honesty and comment that they appreciate always knowing where they stand with me while others well let’s be honest, they can’t handle the truth. When speaking I’m not lofty and long winded, I hate when you watch a movie and there is a lot of extra dialog in a cheap attempt to sound deep. The movies Before Sunrise and After Sunset is an excellent example of how limited dialog can be used but expresses so much.

Words do not have to be dipped in fudge and covered in sprinkles for me. Suddenly I’m becoming more aware of how the way I communicate is received by others. I feel like I’m on mute.

I have the moon in Aries, so I’m quick tempered, being that the moon is in my 2nd house I’m emotionally attached to my values. I’m always up for a good debate, well if I’m winning ha ha Aries wants to conqueror and if I feel attacked I certainly will fight back. I have Mars planet of Aggression in the 3rd house of speech and communication. Mars is also in Taurus, Taurus clings to what is familiar similar to the way I cling to what I feel is right. I also have Sagittarius on my Midheaven; Sagittarius is the searcher of truth and probably the most honest sign in the zodiac. Have to love them for that. Combined this makes me swift in speech, I’m quick to give you my opinion, I’m 100% honest in all of my dealings and if I find you are not, I will cut you off in a New York City minute.

Recently someone that I do not have a favorable relationship with mentioned that I probably I’m happy some not so great stuff is happening to them. This could not be further from the truth. I do not sit around wishing ill on others. If I have a disagreement with someone I either cut them off or tell them off. I don’t sit around and ponder their existence, I certainly do not dwell. Aries moon is not concentrated like that; it is a pioneer it’s on to the next feeling, the next thing. It’s swift in motion. It is fueled by little thought. When this person said that it made me think, WOW just because we do not talk does not mean I sit around and plot and hope for your demise.

Aries moon does not hold a grudge.

Someone recently asked me out of a date, I was busy on the day they asked me. So I said “I can’t I’m busy”. Long silence. Extra long pause and then I quickly added, “I have a lunch plan but if you want to do it next week we can” blah blah blah insert extra unnecessary words. Sudden awareness of how others are receiving me.

The other day two coworkers and I went to grab lunch, I had called ahead to see if the restaurant was serving food. They assured me they were, much to my dismay when we got to the restaurant they weren’t. Can you imagine? Needless to say I went off on them, “Didn’t I just call you”? “Don’t you work here”? And a hundred other things. Needless to say they sat us, my coworkers cringed when our food was eventually brought over but I silently began to wonder why I am the “bad guy” when this hostess doesn’t know what time her restaurant begins serving food.

I know people think I’m a bitch but I wonder when someone doesn’t know their job or you catch your coworker speaking poorly of you and cut them off…. Why am I the bitch?

I was attempting to get coffee at Dunkin Donuts in New York City and this woman in front of me seemed to have forgotten where she was and kept asking questions like do you have fresh sliced tomato? On the tuna sandwich is that iceberg lettuce or romaine? Deep breath Danielle Deep breath! I believe she questioned: Do you have freshly sliced Avocado and that is when I lost it, I screamed “this is Dunkin Donuts not a fucking diner” I stormed out coffee-less. Perhaps I could have just left quietly. Though I must maintain she was an asshole.

I have lived this way for 35 years, but lately I feel like perhaps some adjustments need to be made in the way in which I communicate. Perhaps I need to add a few more sentences, fluff it up a bit. I wonder should I quietly slink away into the night when someone has lost my dinner reservation or challenges me? I find that hard to reconcile, being submissive. Lately I feel as though I’m watching what I say and quite frankly it is suffocating. I was thinking about this when I checked my transits and Ah-ha I have that bastard Saturn-restriction-authority-karma-in an exact square-discomfort-hardship to my Mercury-communication-.

That bastard is stealing my bitch button!

Let me say straight away I do not like Saturn, he isn’t fun, he is a big drip but he does offer lessons of maturity. I admit I will probably be eternally immature. I have Sun in the 5th house, we want to play and create! We have a lifelong child that lives inside of us. With that being said transiting Saturn Squaring natal Mercury is a time where you are forced to revalue the way in which you communicate. It also suggests a time when you may want to retreat away from the world and communicate less, unfortunately this isn’t an option for me I have natal Mercury in the 6th house of work and this attracts jobs where co-workers are talkative and communication is an essential part of my daily tasks, which it is. This is a time of reevaluating your ideas, as they will often be questioned by others. I will add this transit is said to also affect the lungs and respiratory system, I didn’t not know this; but I was recently having problems breathing and abruptly had to quit smoking. Yes I know smoking is bad for you !

So here I’m smoke free, no patch nothing just cold turkey and I’m being served a lesson on proper ways of communicating. My friend said to me the other day, “Do you feel you are more irritable now since you haven’t had a cigarette”. I replied, “no not at all, I’m the same big bitch I have always been”. I’m not sure how long that will last I have from now until November to figure it out…that is when Saturn will release me from this choke hold and perhaps I will emerge a more wordy less responsive and reactive reinvented Bitch!

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