Relationships, Break-Ups and the Outer Planets in Synastry

I classify people and experiences by outer planets, oh that was one hell of a Saturian experience, there was the Plutonic love, the Neptunian delusion and the: what the hell just happened Uranus themed courtship.

When someone has played a significant role in your life it is very likely you have outer planets aspecting there personal planets & vice versa.

Meaning there outer planets (Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) touch your personal planets (Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars).

The harder aspects (conjunction, square, opposition) are more acutely felt.  

I was thinking about our endings with other people. Strong Uranus ties most likely have no finality, POOF the person just leaves. Plutonian endings are tragic; complete annihilation, someone wants to win; couples can see each other’s inadequacies and use them against one another. Neptune; maybe the person stole your money or perhaps you discovered out on Facebook that they have an entire 2nd family. Neptune brings victimization to the forefront, someone feels duped or taken advantage of no matter the reason for the separation one party is invariably left wondering why didn’t I see this before? Saturn, oh Saturn I think you can have a nice break up with Saturn, I think you can part ways even in hurt with Saturn ties. Saturn wants to do what is right. That’s the nature of Saturn, you don’t want to destroy the other person like Pluto, dupe them out of their life savings like Neptune, or just pick up and move to India like you would with Uranus connections.

With Saturn connections it may very well be that the timing is off or one of you have other commitments; but you can part without wanting to burn down the others house like Pluto and it is unlikely someone will use your name as an alias when they finally get arrested for all those drugs they sold out of your apartment like with Neptune and they won’t disappear into thin air like they would with Uranus.

Keys themes for relationships that are very much governed by:


Saturn Theme: work and time

Where did the time go? This is the wrong time. I wish we had more time. Responsibility and burdens are common with a heavy Saturn relationship. These relationships are Karmic in nature particularly with the strong/hard aspects. They are meant to teach you something that aids you in your personal development. These are the connections that demand you grow up in some capacity. These relationships involve work, either the two people will work together, be bound to each other; or the relationship feels like another job. This is especially true when the couple have several harsh Saturn aspects. Break ups can be challenging from the perspective that Saturn is binding.


Uranus Theme on again and off again

Here today gone tomorrow, post-it break ups, divorces planned in secret (think Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise), sudden and abrupt exits. One person leaves without explanation, when the excitement wears off they are onto the next thing. Uranus relationships are better suited for living in separate states, polyamorous connections and anything unconventional. Breaks up tend to be unexpected and sudden one person doesn’t see it coming. These connections are meant to liberate you. Often the couples are in some capacity very different from one another; can be culturally, financially and/or politically.


Neptune Theme: Rose Colored Glasses

Deceit is likely but often unintended; in these connections you see what you want to see. You may very well see to the soul of the person. Con-artists, drug dealers, the player and the alcoholic but all you see is the Princess or Prince Charming.  Did you break up or are you still together? You can’t be sure? You never feel on solid ground; walking between portals, tantric sex, and telepathy. You can be one another’s muse and/or ideal. I remember my Mother once told me about one of these connections: Remember no one person is the Holy Grail, but oh how I thought he was.  When you break up there is often a sense of why didn’t I see this? How didn’t I know this?  Who are they? These loves linger for a long time even after the connection is severed. These relationships require you cut the psychic cords between you after a break up. They teach you that not everyone can live up to their potential and it is best to deal with the reality that is actually being presented. With all the heartache that comes with Neptune they can inspire deep creativity and give us a glimpse of what soul mates are made of.


Pluto Theme Being Reborn

Death, transformation and annihilation are on Pluto’s to do list. In Pluto connections particularly those with unchecked egos someone wants to win, dig deep, rip out your heart, tap dance of your soul, get to the root of the root of the other person. Darkness and intensity are on the agenda as is intense, vampire-like life changing sex. You will face one another’s shadow parts and trigger each other’s most perverse fantasies and psychological complexities . Breakups are marred by the realization: your life will never be the same again; you will never be the same again. When you break up: Love and hate take central stage, stalking, it’s not over till it’s over and lord you will know when it’s over; it’s an explosion. It is unlikely you will ever be friends. Pluto teaches us the value of depth; after these connections you will never seek a light and superficial relationship again. Then again if this was too much and for some people it is too much maybe you will seek a lighter, easier less catastrophic connection.


  1. Ha ha thanks for sharing my astrology instructor said Saturn is the only outer planet you can set up a life with…the others are too destructive in your case that looks like it might be true ! Xo

  2. Oh yeah, Neptune was the worst here. The worst in dealing with the aftermath of why was I so blind and dumb? That kind of thing. A relationship based on deception – a complete con man. Where was I that whole time? Lost myself in the fog he brought with him.

    I’ve had the Uranus breakup too – it’s a like a love tornado that hits you and causes mass destruction then just it’s just, quiet. Aftermath is tough – no closure, no reason, no why – just gone.

    I’ve had the Saturn breakup too – but now we’ve been together 16 years. Could not walk away, felt huge responsibility to make it work, and it has. Saturn is strong in our composite and I feel like it’s our best friend – one word to sum up our relationship – resilient.

    Don’t think I’ll ever experience a Pluto breakup, and by your description, I’m thankful that one skipped by me!

  3. Oh holy heck that is tough, since I can think of themes for all 4 of these (and even Chiron). After contemplation, I would say Neptune was the worst. While Pluto works on a deep level, at least it is in your face – Neptune is sneaky. No likey 🙂 However, I guess that I have somewhat mastered Neptunian energy as of late – I have learned to honor Neptune more and in the process it is not so sneaky 😉

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