I feel like I am a cat trying to fight my way out of a paper bag.
I am writing about the same man that I have written about for the last several blog posts.
We are somehow locked in together in this strange entanglement
You will know its karmic when It doesn’t make sense
When you feel like it’s a ball rolling down a hill and you have no control
I wish things were seamless with us but they are not. I wish they had turned out differently but they aren’t.
We are not together but rather in some weird holding pattern with one another that I can’t seem to break free from.
My Tarot lady said their will be a break in energy between us this month, let’s see.
The quote “Nothing goes away until it teaches what we need to know” comes to mind.
I have felt since day one the timing was off with us I met him during a transitional phase in his life
You know what they say right guy + wrong time = wrong guy
I had originally said to him: you can call me when you are in a better space but he insisted on seeing me, he still insists on seeing me.
A Part of me thinks he would like to put me on a shelf for a later date, but he knows he can’t do that he knows that life doesn’t work that way. So instead he tries to squeeze me in when he can. It is not enough, it will never be enough.
My Venus opposes his Saturn
I wrote about that here
His responsibilities get in the way of being with me. He feels forever cold and distant.
My Saturn squares his moon I am pretty sure he experiences me as unsympathetic. Truth be told I am
I am 10 years older then him odd how that plays out. Saturn rules older people and I am on his Moon (ruler of women)
I have tried to shove him away in the most extreme scenarios and here he is calling me just to say hi like nothing has happened. That oh Danielle we need to talk. Talk about what I am not completely sure as we seem to go in circles never moving forward, never making any progress.
Someone once told me that some ones planets on your planets (synastry) will feel like a permanent transit. Think about the magnitude of that for a minute.
So he will always feel distant to me, no matter what time we pick up in life. He will always put work and life responsibilities ahead of me. His Saturn after all will always oppose my Venus
This results in me yelling at him, throwing fits and pulling away text book astrology will say “Venus will withdraw affection when Saturn is too cold”
Saturn in synastry is binding. It’s like you are locked in. It is said one of you feel like you owe the other something.
Cafeastrology.com writes “Saturn with respect to synastry represents ties to one another that are binding-not always pleasant but binding”.
It really isn’t pleasant at all on any level
He keeps me at bay, he is cold, he is hard to get close to and at the very least the timing is off.
These are all Saturn things.
They say the Saturn person is here to teach the Venus person lessons on love, maturity, what a mature relationship is blah blah blah
I am trying to grasp the lessons. I see them One by one falling in my lap. How I should never make someone else responsible for my happiness is clearly one. That maybe love isn’t a whirlwind but a slow buildup over time.
When I try to move away and he pulls me back and I do wonder maybe I am here to help him with something. Maybe we are here to help one another. This clearly isn’t just some insignificant rendezvous. He has meaning he means something I am just not entirely sure what where and why lol
On the Kepler astrology sight they write “Saturn is the glue that binds people, enduring ties”
I feel like perhaps I should just surrender to the process let it run it course.
Ya know what you resists persists and all of that.
But I can’t
Some other Karmic Indicators we have
His Venus squares my North Node I have read this indicates being star crossed lovers. North Node is where you are headed in life with the square a disharmonious energy meeting with Venus the planet of love this relationship is not on your path….(There are no absolutes in astrology this is one manifestation) the timing is off for this relationship
His vertex opposes my moon I am not into the Vertex like that but It is considered a point of Fate and destiny and according to Google cafeastrology has it top ranked in synastry for being highly significant. According to one website www.thezodiac.com the Vertex is a relationship point and a wish fulfillment point. The author teases be careful what you wish for.
This made me laugh because this Saturn man told me he wished for me and I always quietly think to myself did I meet the ideal? And I always sing “be careful what you wish for you just might get it all”.
It is one thing to love the idea of someone it is another to love them up close and personal flaws and all.
We also have 12th house synastry overlays The 12th house is astrology is the house of karma and past lives. My Moon falls in his 12th allegedly we have been together in previous lives and failed.
And his Mars falls in my 12th so he is always digging up my subconscious shit that I would rather ignore. I also feel a weird connection to him while sleeping. I can wake up from a dead sleep with a thought of him. I sometimes wonder if he is getting up at that time or if he can’t sleep. I never ask because well he is Saturn forever at a distance.
Karmic Relationships aren’t all cut from the same cloth some will snatch your soul while sleeping others will blow up your entire life so you have no choice but to rebuild and well here is Saturn cold, depressing rejecting with the firmest grip on your ankle as you are trying to make your way out the door. Lets see how far away I can get this time