I have been on the fence about writing this, who am I kidding I have been on the fence about accepting this. Dating a narcissist, you will never ever understand it unless you have actually lived it and I can say I will never judge a situation from the outside looking in again. You can do any Google search to find out what narcissism REALLY is but all you really need to know is narcissists never change, there is no cure for their behavior and it is one of the toughest personality disorders to treat. Anyone that has dated a narcissist will research extensively their behaviors. I think the mind of a normal human being cannot fathom the manner in which they operate. You cant believe there are people out here walking among us disguised as caring human beings when that aren’t. They are soulless, they lack empathy, they simply do not possess that ability to connect emotionally. After having known someone for several years I have come to find I never new him at all. Only the facade, the empty shell, the outer layer.
Some of the characteristics of Narcissism
Astrologically Venus on the rise (in the 1st house) Libra or Taurus rising can be very charming. The Ascendant is what you project out into the world it is the mask you wear, the face you show, it’s the door to the house not the interior.
I am not sure what to say about charm to me it’s nothing more than a decoration. Politeness gets me more and Narcissists are all of that charming, polite they project their best face out into the world. This is not necessarily their authentic face. And only those that have known them intimately will see the interior behind that fraudulent mask.
Venus on the rise can do that, the Venus like qualities are displayed. I also believe people with Venus connected to the 1st house are attractive usually this is the planet associated with love and beauty. (Libra more so then Taurus, Taurus tends to deal with the more financial side of Venus but still)
Dear God they will lie like a bear skin rug I wonder if they believe their own lies or do they wish they could stop lying and can’t help themselves. Everything I have read says they lie for sport, they get a kick out of people believing their lies it feeds them.
Mercury planet of communication aspecting Neptune (conjunction, square, or opposition) the planet of deception is found in compulsive liars. I know people that have this that do not lie and I know people that lie habitually that don’t have it. Astrology isn’t one stop shopping.
When Neptune planet of deception aspects Mercury you can find someone that is deceptive, the mind can also be confused when Neptune aspects Mercury, there is confusion in thinking and sorting and remembering facts. This can also indicate an artistic mind, but I am not here to write about anything other than narcissism today. Astromix.org writes with Mercury opposite Neptune “cleansing yourself of deceptive influences is essential not just the outer influences effecting you but also that pattern of creating them”
The Neptune energy becomes infused into Mercury so here we have deception meets communication.
Narcissists will lie about everything they will promise you the world and deliver you NOTHING! Maybe an occasional crumb they will take you on a magic carpet ride and drop you straight out of the sky without a care in the world.
Mercury in hard aspect to Jupiter can also indicate lying but not in the deceptive way as with Neptune. Mercury/Jupiter often indicates promising more then you can deliver. Jupiter the planet of expansion is filtered into Mercury plant of communication so here we have BIG plans and BIG dreams that while dating a narcissist will never see the light of day.
Projection is when we take our own traits but do not acknowledge them in ourselves instead we find them in others so it is not uncommon for Narcissists to call YOU crazy when In fact they are called “the crazy makers” to accuse YOU of cheating when in fact they are the ones slinging that dick all around town. They do not and will not ever be self reflective or introspective so they will continuously feel as though everything is happening to them not within them. They often suffer from a woe is me mentality and lure others in with tales of woe.
Projections in astrology are found in oppositions
Oppositions are 2 planets in opposing signs. When planets are opposite one another we often experience them as happening to us, that someone from the outside is doing something to us. I bet Narcissists have a high level of oppositions. Mine certainly did, his are off the charts.
We all have oppositions (well most of us do) they can be helpful in relating to others and for those that are self aware we can check in with ourselves; am I projecting this onto others? What in me is activating this experience? For instance I have moon opposite Pluto so a lot of times in the past I have had issues with women, power struggles. Now I think to myself, I would rather be happy then argue and I don’t engage (not all of the time) I also own the fact that I attract women that love or hate me because I am someone that is extreme in MY feelings. You attract what you are- universal law of mirrors. Anyway a narcissist will never process things like that because they will never look with in at their real self because they project this image of a false self. That’s the same image you fell for, the one that isn’t real.
This narcissist had a lot of oppositions the one I found most relevant was Venus (women, planet of love, ruler of women) opposite Mars ( God of War) This can be someone that hits women. I never saw this man lose his temper like that. But if not that they create situations in their love (Venus) life that is combative (Mars) Mars in continuously filtered into their love nature. They have the inability to have normal intimacy. They create havoc and turmoil. A Narcissist cannot have normal happy monogamous relationships. I think it was best said here:
You can read the full blog post here:
Narcissists are known for pitting women against one another. They also have a number of “crazy exes”
They need to have constant chaos surrounding them. Projections are often the reason Narcissists have a Victim Mentality they don’t take ownership of their own action and feel as though everything is happening to them
Everything often goes back to childhood and I do wish I could feel more compassionate towards narcissists but I simply cannot and if you ever encountered one you would know why. I know from a detached logical viewpoint that they are wounded birds. I know hurt people hurt people. I know normal people don’t go around treating people who care about them like shit. This particular gem LOL has Chiron the wounded healer exact conjoining his Sun-his identity-his ego- his life force. This is a wound usually inflicted or somehow related to the father figure. I will not get into his personal life, he may lack integrity but I don’t. The person with sun conjunct Chiron is born with a pain, a hole with in them. These people -non narcissists- will build other people up, they are other peoples cheerleaders they celebrate in others what they can not do for themselves. That’s the thing with Chiron you are wounded in that area but you can help others. However no one ever talks about the darker side of Chiron
“The Sun is the only heavenly body that casts a direct shadow on the Earth; the full moon casts shadows but its more diffuse light is reflected from the Sun. This ‘dark side of the sun’ is relevant when Chiron aspects the Sun. It represents egomania, narcissism, a belief that one’s purpose is god-ordained and therefore any means justify the attaining of it. With these aspects, we can become authoritarian, and desire to be in sole control of life and everyone we come into contact with; we may be willful, inflexible, to contemptuous and always need to be right. Coming face to face with this controlling, destructive and autocratic side of the masculine principle is often a difficult part of the journey of those with Chiron/Sun aspects. “-Melanie Reinhart’s book Chiron and the Healing Journey
Mass killer Elliot Rodger has an exact Chiron conjunct Sun in Leo You can read about him and his narcissistic personality disorder here
I did a reading for someone recently for a client that had Sun conjunct Chiron they asked me if they were a narcissist and I laughed and said absolutely NOT a narcissist will never ask if they are a narcissist because a narcissist isn’t reflective they are projective. Besides they think they are perfect
I have to say I have never encountered someone like this in my life but as an ever evolving being I take the time to look for the lessons and they are plentiful
- “Protect your magic “
- Surround yourself with happy and healthy people
- Follow your intuition ( I kept ignoring mine. I didnt want to believe it)
- Trust in the timing of your life Dont be in a rush to meet someone you want the right person and they will come at the right time
- Get real about what you want. When you are unclear about what you want the universe will deliver you any old body
I will leave you with some of my favorite narcissist quotes