Emotional Vulnerability and a Little Bit of Astrology 

I was raised by a Mother with a Scorpio moon and Venus in Capricorn; “never let them see you cry” was literally the directive. That and “never write anything down you wouldn’t want the world to read” and yet here I am tweeting and blogging my life away. I believe; write it down and free your soul. Give form to your pain and perhaps we can be free of it.

This week I cried in front of someone so I have to take a week or so to collect myself. You know Cancer we are either all in or all out and when we feel overly exposed we retreat deep within ourselves and no telling when we will come out. We don’t like feeling exposed. Think of the Chariot Card in Tarot ; that is the Cancer card he hides beneath armor just as crabs hide beneath a hard-shell ; Cancers hide in our houses when we feel unveiled ?Cut open? Bleeding out? Preferably with wine, under the covers with Netflix, an IPad and a flashlight.

I am self-reliant right that’s Aries Moon; we don’t need anyone. The Moon rules your needs; Aries is the sign of me, myself and I. The Aries Moon is ruled by Mars; I am more comfortable with anger I will happily spar and perhaps I will joyfully display fits of passion any day over a wellspring of Cancer tears. I also have Saturn in the 7th I mean there is a reason I’m 40 and not married, this placement and Saturn in hard aspect to Venus in the Natal Chart can be indicative of the lone wolf, we can spend a lot of time alone and have barriers set up between ourselves and others.

Insert man who has Neptune opposite all of my personal planets and my Neptune squares his Moon, Mars and Mercury; we are formless. We don’t have any barriers the veil is thin. I once touched him and felt his Solar Plexus and Sacral Chakra. It was like putting my hand in another dimension

My relationships/friendships require form; right Saturn in the 7th house relationships look like business partnerships This is me, this is you, this is who we are check off ✔️ those little boxes everyone is neatly filed .

Not with Neptune no way Jose He floats by in a cloud of ethereal smoke and I dissolve. Who am I? Who are you? Is this platonic? Do you want to have sex? What are we? What is real? What is not? I may never know the line is not visible though I often wish one of us would draw it. So I can see the perimeters. Maybe that’s the key not knowing, letting it just be, not needing things to be labeled Perhaps giving up the desire to understand everything in my fucking existence We aren’t concrete I cannot affix a label on him that says “we are friends” or “we are nothing” because somehow we are a kaleidoscope of colors projected into space hidden beneath a puffy cloud of confusion. At this point I have decided to give in to the process because I’m so over feeling confused about it.
Wave tiny white flag
We can have a Neptunian “cordial-ship”
I surrender!
Or so I think!
To be continued…
In another dimension



  1. I had a friend who is trained like this by her family. She was told to never cry, and hold it all in. I found out about this when I asked her why she was into BDSM, she said it was the only way she Got some relief and was able to cry. Sometimes, there’s a high price to pay for the believes that we try to instill in children.

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