Yesterday was a busy day, all the days lately are busy between working 16 hours & trying to find time to redecorate. My mind is in over drive, I have post-its in a 100 places to remind me: you need window treatments, the carpet guy is coming in July, the couch guy is coming next week, your working your days off the last week of June as my mind wonders who the hell I’m going to get to hang that effing canvas I bought. I drive to my second Home Depot of the day because the 1st didn’t have enough door knobs. I needed 3 they had 2. Only to come home & find that NONE of the 3 fit although the Home Depot man said they were universal but after many attempts trying to figure it out I relented, it just wasnt happening. After I had to get in the car & drive to Queens park the car & get on the subway into Manhattan to attend astrology class & I fought back tears as I ranted to myself: I m so fucking tired how did I get to this place where I’m doing every thing! And why don’t they have a handyman service where some cute man picks up the shit you need & hangs it for you. And what is a wall sconce and why can’t you just drill it into any place on the wall.
Truth be told: I never wanted to be this person that had to do everything! (natal cardinal t square: I’m that person) As i slide into class my beyond well versed astrology instructor says those with sun square moon are not comfortable with themselves. It couldn’t be more true. I m all to aware that the moon represents you natural instinct, your emotional attachment. The moon in Aries is not a comfortable position. Moon in Aries needs to get things done ASAP they want their needs met immediately, it’s a masculine energy where as the moon is feminine. There is a conflict. For me all i wanted was to just be someone’s mom and stay at home& bake cookies and stuff like that! Cancer Sun wants that they long for intimate connections they enjoy staying home they want someone to nurture them & take care of them & in return we will love you forever.But an Aries moon is impulsive, action oriented they want to go go go! A montage plays in my mind of the people I could ve dated long-term the men that could have hung my curtains but eh I didn’t like the way one chewed his food, he didn’t pull out my chair , or that one got boring. Venus in Gemini needs to keep things interesting Saturn in 7th takes commitment seriously, all dates are interviews for me like can I look at this mans face forever. So I leave class unsure of how to reconcile my Cancer Sun & Aries moon, I hop on the train then get into my car drive to Home Depot number 3 return the door knobs get new ones, install them, lay on my bed & cry my eyes out dreaming of the day I can sit by my pool, write a novel (Sun in the 5th) & start online bakery business (Cancer Sun)