I have written about Free Will Astrology, Plutonic love and the fact that I am on astrological Journey. Truth be told I’m always looking, searching and as someone once told me, over thinking. I do not believe in coincidence and have wrestled with the concept of why certain things happen. Why? The Why always haunts me. It always has, since my father died when I was 5; for as long as I can remember I have always questioned life. Questioned God? Questioned what is meant to be? If we take Route A or Route B do we end up in the same place when our lives are complete.
Lately I have been overrun with why, why is it I keep seeing someone I do not wish to see. If you read my entry on Plutonic Love, I use to believe we were destined. That we belonged together, seriously what else was I too think….I realized I was wrong the day he got married to someone else. The day out of the 841 Hotels in New York City he booked his wedding block at my hotel. I found out 3 days prior to their arrival when I attempted to check in another guest but typed in the wrong name. And there they were; his name 13 times, I could not breathe. I gasped for air, felt as though I had been punched in the stomach and had to leave immediately and console myself in a bottle of Ciroc Vodka. Why was this happening?
I will never have the answer as to why he chose my place of employment, the way I see it if he did it intentionally he is nothing short of cruel and if he didn’t think of me at all…well quite frankly that is WORSE. I would rather be loved or hated, indifference is nothing I aspire to & rarely do I inspire indifference in people, I blame that on my Sun square Pluto. Love me or hate me but never in between. Needless to say I called him in a panic, he informed me in fact that he was not the one to pick the hotel and it was all a coincidence. There goes that word again, thrown around so lightly. How could I ever have believed he was “the one”. 10 days later after having dusted myself off, seeking no solace that a natural disaster ruined his wedding( no shock here it was the worst day in the entire year to get hitched astroligically speaking) I owned up to my own bouts of delusion and accepted that we were not meant to be, only to pull up to the front of my house to see him with wife in tow. His dogs’ sad face at my window. My friends would joke the next day and label me “the dog whisperer”. Ah but had I been stuck at a traffic light a little longer, had someone stopped to ask me 1 simple question before leaving work I may have never seen them, but I did. I laughed at the absurdity of it all and thought had we still remained friendly he would indeed tell me, “what a coincidence”.
Karmic Ties in astrology appear to be unbreakable, for better or worse. Why am I the only recipient of this I have yet to figure out. I do know that I have changed my route on the way to work, have altered where I go in attempt to avoid him….but there are still times I see him. We are strangers now, Imagine. Just strangers. As I yearn to cut all ties a quote comes to mind: You often meet your destiny on the road you took to avoid it. Karmic ties are unavoidable and I have little to no hope of avoiding him.
In synastry the moons nodes coming in contact with another person’s moon often indicate “star crossed lovers” or “Romeo and Juliet” type of contacts. When an outer planet Saturn, Neptune or Pluto makes contact with another person’s Personal Planet (Moon, Mars Venus, Mercury) this is also Karmic. There are various degrees and each Karmic tie is different. According to www.caféastrology.com Pluto ties which we had many of “suggest a theme of domination, issues of power, betrayal, and dependence”. Presently I feel very much betrayed, though I’m not sure by whom either him or the universe.
I recently treated myself to a Reiki healing session, a pretty young woman lay her hands over me as visions danced around my head, wild horses, this small pretend horse my father bought me as a child, I was flying above this man’s house, twirling and dancing….The Reiki healer advised me “my chakras to the past were now closed” and yet I saw him the very next day, just driving by a smile plastered on his face. It didn’t hurt like it use to, I simply thought What the f***! I sought council through Tarot Card Readers, an intuitive, a psychic, an astrologer and I-ching reading…you name it and I have done it. I feel like the little boy in the Movie Hereafter with Matt Damon, I just wanted the answer, I wanted “the why”? And every single one advised me: the both of you share energy, you have lived many lifetimes together. The last woman said, “isn’t it nice to know that some connections are everlasting”, a sweet grin plastered on her face. Uh-nope.
I was advised to not speak about him, thoughts become words, words become actions and actions become things. And this energy is a living thing. This will be my last entry about him, I have done all I can to cut the ties, meditation, yoga, reiki and for once in my life I have decided I may never get what the lesson is here and I may never know why this happened but I will just accept it. I must accept it, that I may never have the “why” And as my dear friend said, when you stop caring you will not be in tuned to it, you wont ask WHY when he drives by……. because you won’t see him at all.