Mercury Retrograde in Cancer & Saturn Direct: I cant see the line

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I called out sick for the rest of the week; I’m emotionally drowning. That’s the nature of the astrological sign of Cancer; we hide, we are either all in or all out. And when we feel too emotionally exposed we retreat, we hide away from the world. Neptune Rising Marilyn Monroe once said, “I restore myself when I’m alone” that should be a Cancer motto. Let’s be honest we know our emotions are like a runaway freight train and we don’t want to frighten others so give us space and we will resume with our regularly scheduled programming in a few days. I feel like I have been struck by a large wave. I almost did drown once in the Acapulco Bay; it is a scary feeling because A. I can’t swim and B. you can’t figure out which way is up and which way is out. I thought Mercury in Retrograde in Cancer would enhance my intuition. My natal Mercury is in Cancer; we read people, look at body language but these days I feel like I have all the pieces to a jigsaw puzzle except a few in the center, I’m not seeing the entire picture. Nothing is clear to me, I’m tired. I’m crashing like waves on the shore, breaking. I have a pool but don’t ordinarily swim the other day I laid in it for awhile; I kept thinking I have to get to the source, back to my center. This isn’t the usual Mercury Retrograde; ya know the delayed flights and problems with electronics. Although I have lost 2 credit cards in recent weeks and had a birthday parcel get lost on route, but its more challenging from the communication stand point. Everything is muddled, Chris Tucker said, “do you understand the words coming out of my mouth”. Yup I feel very misunderstood, like nobody gets me. Pity Party table for 1 please. Like the crab moves side to side Mercury in Cancer turning backward is making communication unclear and flooded with emotions. This is the planet of the mind (Mercury) in the sign of feelings (cancer). Sometimes the heart wants what is wants, sometimes feelings overrule the mind and sometimes vice versa or in this case they all collide. Nothing is direct now; I mean sure Saturn Lord of boundaries and commitment went direct; so maybe we see the line or maybe we ourselves have drawn a line in the sand. Ya know the last few months we analyzed our commitments to others and ourselves and perhaps there have been some tests; we wondered how we measure up. Maybe some of us have slipped back into less then desirable patterns, but that should all be clear now right? Saturn is the planet of commitment currently placed in Scorpio the tests are involving those we share money with and those we are sexually involved with and those we share intimate moments with. That is Saturn in Scorpios issue; that’s what we are committed or not committed too shared resources, shared intimacy and sex. We have either honored our commitments or broke them. We either survived the tests or we failed them but perhaps some of us are just skating in between. The song I walk the line by Johnny Cash comes to mind he was a water sign, a Pisces sun and Scorpio moon, the urge to merge with others was strong, towing the line is difficult. That’s what water signs do we meld with others. Sometimes it is hard to walk the line, to stand beside others instead of blending into them. And what if we are still unclear about where the line is. What if we are waiting for someone to tell us, to define it, to verbalize it how very Mercury but we can’t intellectualize feelings. We can’t say how we feel, so we move side to side like the crabs on the beach occasionally overtaken by a wave and we will tumble and turn and survive like we always do, a little worse for the wear perhaps staying in our shell a tad longer before peaking out to make sure the coast is clear and hopefully once Mercury goes direct on July 20th we will have all reached the conclusion that my head is here, my heart is there and lay it all out on the line.

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