Transit Neptune Squaring my natal Venus is the only major transit I have right now, though Pluto in Capricorn opposing my natal Sun is well on its way and even closer is Pluto in Capricorn squaring my natal moon in Aries. I expected this transit to be a “feel good one”. Ah not so fast. When does it end I want to throw my hands up into the sky. Apparently not until sometime NEXT year. I cried today while grocery shopping I always wonder why am I never given the opportunity to dream a bit. Recently I was telling a story to someone; I had a date with some guy ; many years ago. We went back to house, nothing happened but I had taken off this very heavy gladiator bracelet I had on and put it on his sofa table. He gave me a tour of his place and upon seeing his walk in closet I exclaimed, “Wow I can fit all my shit in here”. Next thing I knew he was handing me my bracelet and quickly escorting me to my car. I knew he wouldn’t call; quite frankly I was 22 and didn’t care. When he handed me the bracelet I felt this surge of energy, the I’m never calling you again I’m not ready for you to move all your shit into my house energy.
This tale is indicative of my entire existence with men, and lately the question has been on my mind; why can’t I just dream a little bit. Why is every beginning so obviously marred with a tragic ending. Why do things end before they begin? I watch other people conduct entire faux relationships you know who they are, they dress alike, perhaps one is always cheating but there are these large enouncements concerning there relationship on face book, perhaps they even share a facebook account (not that anything is wrong with that) and I’m like who is actually believing this shit show. It all seems so very transparent. With that being said I would like to dream for awhile, I would like to be that naive to believe what someone tells me, never question and dare not know any better. But I’m not afforded this and I would like to know why?
The technical stuff
Neptune is currently in its sign of rulership Pisces; it will remain in Pisces until 2025! Neptune rules dreams, illusions, addictions, charlatans, deceptions, self sacrifice. Neptune is currently squaring my Venus in Gemini; Venus rules love, beauty, finance,and sex to some extent. Text books say during this transit you are in danger of picking up liars, schemers, martyr, expierence problems with finance, people taking advantage of you and indiscrimination when selecting a partner. They say it is better to wait until after this transit is complete to enter into a relationship, I say sign me the fuck up, I want to dream! Bob Mark the Astrologer so eloquently put it you are prone to like people because of their issues “Oh you poor little thing. I know you’re an alcoholic, a junkie, a con-artist, and tri-sexual. Let me marry you and make you all better! Do yourself a favor and use the magic number instead. Please memorize it. It is 911. Dial that and have them taken away. Let a professional take care of them”
My issue is more of the fact that I don’t get the chance to dream I would love to have some moments where I can escape (Neptune rules escapism) my daily life! I want to listen to Mazzy Star (Neptune and Venus rule music) and dance around my living room with someone while drinking some wine (Neptune rules alcohol) Venus can rule excess. I can say with direct honesty that I’m looking for an escape from my day to day existence and none has been provided. I want the pleasure of believing even if it isn’t true; instead here I’m in reality everything so painfully obvious. Never permitted to dream. I listen to women tell me, oh I know he has no job”, but I really love him”. And I think hmmm ok or he hit me but it was just once. I think to myself there isn’t a transit in the world that will make me love you more than I love me. Ok. But still I would like nights that you believe will last forever, that feeling when 2 people are first falling in love & you know it. You can feel it on the other person and you believe it. It has been so long since I loved someone and even longer since I loved the right someone. I have been blissfully unaware how closed I have been until just recently. I invited someone over I will call him “Scorpio moon”, we talked about life, astrology, music, Mazzy Starr oddly playing and for a minute I believe she was stuck on repeat, and I felt like I was outside myself watching time move on. I haven’t talked with or kissed a man since my plutonic love which now oddly feels like another lifetime ago. When telling the story to my coworker I said it was so weird I feel like a part of me has been frozen in time and Scorpio Moon set my clock forward. Your biological clock, she teased 😉
No like the clock on the show Once Upon a Time on ABC, all these people are trapped in time for the first season unaware of there previous lives. Karmic Ties and lost Loves Oh my! They know something is missing, but not sure what it is. One of the characters on the show is a child that demands an adult Bring back the happy endings.
I cant help but wonder where is my happy ending or atleast faux happy ending. Neptune square Venus in astrology is dubbed the “farytale aspect” Apparently the only farytales that exist for me are on tv because I never get the chance to dream. Reality is an ever looming prescence.