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The Fifth House Sun

The last few days I feel as though I’m drowning, I’m weighed down by meaningless tasks and I have 0 escape from my daily existence. Having given up most of my vices I have nowhere to catapult myself in my time of need. Quit smoking Check. Gone are the days of over drinking Check Said farewell to a plutonic love Tata and am slowing coming to after a year or so of licking my own wounds and learning the art of self-preservation. Trying to be better not bitter that he chose someone that’s idea of creativity is making paper plate snowmen and the only depth she possesses lingers somewhere in the bottom of a Nutella can. Oh the joys of rice crispy treats!

Did I mention the 5th house is also home to competitions. You want to win in all matters of the heart, even if you don’t like someone, if they don’t like you the pain is just the same.

The fifth house Sun in astrology is home to first loves, the heart, joy, pleasure, gambling, risk, sports, and leisure it is the place we go to let our hair down and have a good time. The problem arises when the good times have come to a halt or are temporarily put on hold. I have been working 11 days straight and am inundated with practical tasks; doing wash, waiting on hold with Time Warner to fix my internet which has suddenly stopped working, I’m earth deficient my personality lacks practicality. Each clock I own has a wildly different time; 5:00, 11:00 I laugh when I get a compliment on my watches thinking god forbid someone should ask the time. Fall Back Spring Ahead…eventually the time will be right.

The only time that counts is the time I spend having fun and when things begin to get dull I start to suffocate. I really think Fiona Apple Mistake was written for me.

The 5th House Sun is home to risk taking; I went ahead and kissed someone insainly inappropriate this week just to feel alive. I enjoy the feeling of free falling, not knowing where you will land. God it has been so long since I felt that way. The fifth House is Home to love affairs, I’m impulsive in love it has to be instant and yes like Katy Perry sings “cinematic and dramatic with a perfect ending”.

Sun in the 5th house possesses a strong romanticism the thought of true love never quite far from mind. The likelihood of losing yourself in someone an all too familiar reality.

I want to lose myself in you but the last time I lost myself in someone I almost didn’t find my way back

A danger exists in caring too much, having your entire self-esteem wrapped up in a relationship, a man, looking outwardly for validation. Last week I actually felt whole like I’m fucking fabulous, I’m no longer that glass ½ empty person longing for someone to fill me up. I really believed I mastered the nourishment of my 5th house sun. Pouring my creativity and passion into pursuits outside of romantic encounters. This blog for instance, writing the monthly horoscopes, or working on various TV shows. It’s the in-between time the in the meantime that is painful. Im fighting hard to not get lost in a bottle of Sangria blasting Natalie Merchants The Living while dancing around my living room

“The Lovers I have gambled and lost Count my mistakes whatever the cost” Natalie Merchant

The Fifth House Sun rules children or the child within, I have often wondered why I feel immature in relation to my peers. The one plus I suppose is they say individuals with a 5th house sun are eternally child-like. We have an effervescent spirit that resides in us. We want to play and create. As I check my email I see Wheel of Fortune has contacteded me for an interview. I ll be sure to buy a vowel even if it cost me $5000.00 But I really look forward to the day Im free falling, putting my heart on the line and can declare to someone worthy: Im all in! Now that is the greatest risk of all

Famous 5th House Sun indiviuals

Charlie Sheen

Amy Winehouse

Taylor Swift

Marie Antoinette

Nick Carter

Lisa Boney & Lenny Kravitz

Sarah Bernhardt

Leonardo Da Vinci

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Work on Feeling Five, Natal Sun square Pluto

I’m intense or so I’ve been told, I had a childhood friend that use to just glare at me until one day I snapped: why are you staring at me. She replied: you’re a lot to absorb. I’m always going, nothing can happen fast enough which sucks for someone with natal Mars in slow ass Taurus. The other day I went to see a psychic life coach when he opened the door to greet me I felt all of my energy rush into his office, he remarked later no one is as fast as you. I once had a therapist that said, “Can you work on feeling 5”, my mother said ha! Work on feeling 9, that’s a start. Everything needs to be immediate and I feel everything intensely.

I thought after my fluffy piece “The 7th house cusp and my search for true love” I would confess I have Sun in the 5th house squaring Pluto in the 8th house. I can’t operate in any other manner than extreme.  The Sun is the ego, light, life and Pluto is transformation, dark, death. In hard aspect to one other everything is a matter of life and death and I do mean everything. I’m attempting to become more aware of this, that people do not have this sense of urgency. I’m trying to slow down though quite frankly I don’t think I will ever feel 5. My dear friend and coworker said to me, “You’re so relaxed today I love it”. I had been at work for 17 hours and hadn’t slept; he thought I was relaxed I on the other hand felt as though I was in a medically induced coma. To him I probably seemed “normal” energy wise.

That isn’t the only struggle that goes on with your natal Sun squaring Pluto, the contrast between light and dark that lives inside of me and is often difficult to express. When someone first meets me I’m my Sun in the 5th house, shining and dancing eager to party.  On first dates its laughs and giggles and I’m so light bordering on not very intelligent.  My friend tells me when I go on dates: Don’t send your representative be yourself. I was also advised once that I have to “show up more” when I date because I often do not let anyone see inside of me. It’s often difficult to express the depth of thought and the 5th house Sun simultaneously. That is a square in astrology: energy that is difficult to manage and release the intense energy. A square is harder than an opposition, oppositions can almost take turns.

I do believe people were meant to be multidimensional, but I also am aware that people are unaware of all that makes them unique. I think people attempt to only own the pretty parts of themselves and gloss over the rest. Sun Square Pluto people such as myself can act as agents to others, calling them on their bullshit, putting them in touch with their entire selves and parts they would rather not acknowledge which doesn’t always make for great conversations at your Fourth of July Barbeque!

As I began to write this I thought of one instance where a male friend-just a friend-was getting into my car and when I turned on the engine I had on the song: Outside by Staind blasting, he was shocked and said I can’t believe you have this on. You get sad? When he asked I was reminded of that persona people meet when they are first introduced to me. I explained to him I love sad songs; Puddle of Mudd, Otis Redding, Fiona Apple, I’m attracted to tragic stories; Edie Sedgwick shit growing up I wanted to be Andrea Evans on One Life To Live, Robin Scorpio on General Hospital made me gag, but that is Pluto dark and edgy.

Robin Scorpio on General Hospital
Andrea Evans who played Tina on One Life To Live

Most days I’m my Sun in 5th house, I want to have fun more than anything else! If something isn’t fun I really don’t want to take part in it, but there is another part of me that is intense and finds beauty in darkness.

I was speaking with someone the other day and he remarked how we are different with different people. And I said how in relationships I’m often like Paper Mache; I must be operating from the Cancer Sun in 5th house, so easily breakable. I’m stronger single. Something about my Sun Square Pluto is activated when in a relationship and its all or nothing and if I need someone it has to be immediate, I definitely have to be a priority…the number one priority.  There is also a desire to control, control the relationship, and control the outcome…that is Pluto. In a woman’s chart if you follow the sun and look at the aspects you will see recurring themes involving men in your life. For instance if a woman has the sun in hard aspect to Uranus they will pick up men that suddenly leave them, the sun in hard aspect to Saturn gives you daddy issues, I have the sun in aspect to Pluto giving me control issues in relationships. I think I may have mastered this, or perhaps am more aware of this after having learned several hard lessons surrounding fate and free will. When something isn’t going my way I quietly whisper to myself: let it go though I think I will always operate with speed, forever need to be a priority and often struggle with the concepts of love and hate, dark and light, highs and lows….Sun square Pluto a life of extremes.