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liz greene

All posts tagged liz greene

“you’re needy” the air and water sign dilemma

Published September 25, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

I have been called needy before I have been told I require too much attention. I attract mostly air sign men though Libra and Gemini will be the two that most often label me this. Something about Aquarius suns they understand me most they really get me out of all the air signs. Perhaps that is because I have Aquarius rising.

I am not needy and laugh at the utter absurdity of labeling me as such. But generally speaking I dislike labels. I have an Aries Moon this it itself means I do not need anyone (the moon rules your needs and Aries is the sign of self). I am comfortable alone, I am actually quite the loner not particularly social So when someone labels me needy I really want to tell them instead of affixing me with such an insulting adjective why don’t you apologize for having the inability to actually meet my needs. Isn’t that really the case when someone calls you needy? This is their way of confessing they have an inability to give you what you desire

“People only see you from their level of perception”

Water and Air signs do not understand one another on an ego level…on an identity level. Though I am inclined to say water signs appreciate air signs intelligence I love someone intelligent it’s admirable to be well read to know facts and figures on topics I have really no strong interest in.  I as a Cancer sun can celebrate the more cerebral parts of a person. After all I do have Venus in Gemini and feel that love can first begin in the mind and nothing is as beautiful as a man with a big vocabulary. But I still possess a water sign sun and nothing could describe me more than the quote below:

it-doesnt-interest-me-in-what-you-do-for-a-living

But we live in a society where intellect and achievement is valued over intuition and feeling. And here is where water signs are often labeled needy…our contributions aren’t celebrated like air signs and air signs rarely if ever can understand us. I am not sure they even try; sometimes I feel they are quick to dismiss us so easily feeling swept up under a wave of our emotion.

Air signs project qualities onto us without actually communicating or asking what we need or desire they so often think they know everything.

I dated a Gemini man that would always say to me “I don’t want to talk about having children”  this man assumed I wanted children he never even bothered to ask me …I surely would have  told him I don’t want any.

They see us only through their level of perception and that level of perception is what they think we need/feel/desire without having any real knowing of what we need/feel/desire

Air signs need to be free and have the most difficult times relating to others on an emotional level. If you think of air it’s the breath and they need plenty of room to breathe and roam. Air signs never want to feel held down they have the fear of suffocation…that’s an air sign for you. They filter everything through the mind and love if anything has no place being sorted out through intellect. It must be felt.

Water signs however use intuition to process everything we are formless like air yet we seek someone to house us and be our container. Water signs seek to emotionally connect, we want to merge with you on a soul level we want you to house and be a safe place for our ever changing emotional states.

Water signs use touch and non verbal communication as modes of expression

So while air signs tend to think we are all up there ass we are simply communicating without words how much we like/admire/desire them

Air signs use words as a means of expression.

I do believe this can be sorted out if water signs would allow air signs that room to breathe and if air signs would acknowledge and celebrate that we don’t need them we merely connect through physical and intimate expression.

I think water and air have a great deal to teach one another with air encouraging water to be more rational and detached and with water teaching air to get out of their head and into their heart. Water can teach air that in essence not everything that counts can be counted.

Liz Greene writes in her book “relating”

“The airy type has a problem with feeling…because feelings like everything else which comes under his microscopic eye cannot be classified, structured, analyzed or fitted into the framework”

She goes onto say about the air signs

“His richest relationships will be with the feeling types for they are both his greatest fascination and the reflection of his own inner self”

Greene goes on to mention that water signs have a “problem with reason”

And that “water is magnetically attracted to air and if these two types could cease their endless skirmishing they could learn much from each other about their own unconscious lives”

For a long time now I feel we should just accept people as they are without labeling them one thing or another. The truth of the matter is people cannot be boxed in, we are multifaceted human beings and often the things we love about someone are the same features we devalue overtime. (See the Before Sunrise trilogy) Water signs are drawn to air signs for the way they can be objective and analytical and air signs love water for their creative energy and for having a way of tapping into what the air sign needs on a subconscious level to diminish and weaken these connections with adjectives such as needy (water signs) and shallow (Air signs) is an assault on the very soul of what we love most about one another.

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Saturn/Venus; Keeping Love at Bay

Published July 8, 2015 by starsmoonandsun

I have been thinking about Saturn lately. I know I have written about him before you can take a look here:

http://starsmoonandsun.com/tag/saturn-conjunct-venus/

http://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/love-is-hard-saturn/

http://starsmoonandsun.com/tag/saturn-transits/

http://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/saturn-in-synastry-round-2/

http://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/let-sleeping-babies-lie-saturn-in-the-saturn/

If you are familiar with me you will know I have Saturn in the 7th house, Saturn in the 7th is similar to Venus in Capricorn, Capricorn or Aquarius on the 7th house cusp or Saturn aspecting Venus Hastag #SameShitDifferentAspect

Restriction in love

Blocks to love

Delays in love

I admittedly only recently came to realize I keep people at arms length, Saturn is cautious-Once bonds are formed with a Saturn person they know they are etched in stone, Sade’s “Like a Tattoo” song comes to mind. Personally I also have a heavy Pluto on my Sun, Moon, Jupiter, Saturn, Midheaven and Ascendant. I am prone towards extremes in dealing with people. I either love them or hate them, rarely lingering in indifference this only enhances difficulties in relationships.

Back to Saturn

A few weeks ago someone expressed to me they don’t feel I love them; they are undergoing Saturn hard transits (conjunction, oppositions and/or square) to their Sun, Moon and Venus simultaneously.  I attempted to reassure them that I do love them to no avail. They said they don’t feel I love them because of this that and the other. I thought to myself: this is so Saturn, wanting people to prove your love to them, setting a standard or a bar for how people should love you.  I thought of the quote

“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have”

Saturn/Venus can put loved ones through a series of tests wanting the other party to prove their love and devotion.  Likely the person jumping through hoops is set up for failure because Saturn sets the bar too high, Saturn can have unrealistic expectations. I contemplated how to proceed but I’m not a fan of proving myself to anyone, take me as I am or pretty much watch me as I go is my motto.

I know this person is going through quite an ordeal they aren’t into astrology and they aren’t in a state of awareness so I left the door open for them to come back… likely when this transit is over.

Saturn/Venus transits or natal can indicate issues of self worth, setting high unachievable standards for others, relationships feel like they are a lot of work, sometimes a person feels so unlovable themselves they project that out into the world feeling as though no one will love them (love is first and foremost an inside job). You can’t keep people at bay while simultaneously desiring them to love you. Life doesn’t work that way.

I confess I myself in the past have had walls (Saturn) so high with a list of requirements it would be unlikely anyone could reach.

According to Liz Green in Saturn An New Look at  A Old Devil “Venus Saturn combinations imply a certain amount of emotional pain in the early home life” it suggests lack of affection or direct appreciation for who the child is as an individual according to Greene. She further goes on to write about Venus Saturn contacts “These are people whose emotional growth has been stunted in childhood”.

Sometimes you find a Venus/Saturn person so devastated by a first love or heartbreak they cut themselves off vowing to never let anyone hurt them again.

I have known a man for several years he has Moon in Capricorn and Venus conjunct Saturn. He hasn’t been in a relationship ever nearing the age of 50 and while he is always gracious and fun (Gemini Sun), and bluntly honest (Mars on the Ascendant in Aquarius) I don’t think he will ever let anyone in. Unlike the other person I mentioned, he isnt open to love PERIOD, he isnt looking for you to prove anything to him. He seems to spend his life with people that do not know him, a superficial sort of travel and party lifestyle with various companions/friends/lovers. I saw him recently for my birthday after having not seeing him in about a year and a half. We have great synastry so its always all love, light and a natural ease when we get together. But I know he will never let anyone in. Maybe that’s a part of my own Saturn in the 7th house, attracting people that keep me out. I always have a strong desire toward prying someone open. This would never happen here, he is tightly sealed. He mentioned to me how its always easy being together, that no one in his entire life ever treated him like I do. I once bought him flowers. He is the only man I ever bought flowers for. My Mars in Taurus conjuncts his Venus I’m sure that had something to do with it. Sometimes if I see something, a quote, a cartoon, or a piece of art that reminds me of him I will send it to him. He said no one ever sends him things or touches him so light not like I do. I don’t attempt to change/mold/prove to him anything only making a mental note that the reason he surrounds himself with people that don’t care about getting close to him is so he will never have to get hurt. He prefers it that way. Recently telling me “if people see your weak spot they will only use it to hurt you”. Saturn on Venus can’t deal with the thought of rejection. If you never get close to anyone or let anyone in, no one can possibly hurt you.

This is a man with both of his feminine Planets influenced by Saturn, Moon in Capricorn (rules mom and women in his life) is ruled by Saturn and Venus the female principal is squared by Saturn. He will not acknowledge anything family wise except to say everyone loves his parents and his father is a high level attorney. Moon/Saturn or Moon in Capricorn restricts emotional outpouring. Here is another issue of feeling worthy or needing people to prove their worth to you. According to the book The Astrology of Family Dynamics Moon in Capricorn “it is not the lack of love but the ability to demonstrate or express loving feelings is diminished”. I simply wish him love, light and healing thoughts always knowing his capacity to receive love is at a limited capacity.

Right now I am going through a Saturn opposite my natal Venus transit, oppositional transits often involve people on the outside, coming to you or you can experience the opposition as a projection…those people don’t love me, those people have hurt me. Placing blame on to others what you don’t recognize in yourself that is what is happening with the person i mentioned early on.

Ultimately Saturn lessons involve; learning how to let people in, learning how to trust, learning to forgive people for not being 100% of what you want them to be; no one can meet that requirement. And if you have Saturn/Venus people in your life simply tell them I love you I am here if you need me and wish them love and light.

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