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“The Kiss of Death and The Google Exec”

I watched 48 hours last night, the episode was entitled “The Kiss of Death and The Google Exec” You can read the full story here

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2925587/He-nervous-went-Police-chief-describes-step-step-unseen-video-shows-high-end-escort-inject-father-five-Google-exec-lethal-heroin-overdose-aboard-luxury-yacht.html

Or here

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/coroner-ruled-google-execs-forrest-hayes-death-an-accident-says-public-defender/

It’s the story of a high powered extremely wealthy man by the name of Forrest Hays that was doing heroine-yes inject in your vein –heroine with a sex worker and overdosed on his luxurious yacht.  And now she-the escort is on trial for manslaughter for giving him the hot shot, the lethal dose that killed him. The hotshot  50+ something year old Hays chose to do.  I’m quite confident if he had been found in an abandoned building rather than on a $345,000 yacht no one would give two shits.

escape yacht

But Forrest Hays was wealthy, he lived in Silicon Valley, was married for over 17 years with 5 children (I can’t find a single picture of his wife and family), he worked for Google on a top secret project (no one will say what exactly he did there), he loved his yacht which he named “Escape”, and he obviously loved escourts and drugs as well. All of this was screaming NEPTUNE to me. Secrets, illusions, drugs, prostitutes, the yacht …Neptune rules water and boats let’s not forget the array of secrets.

Some people you read about and you know what to expect in their natal chart. When Betty Broderick killed Dan Broderick she had Pluto exactly conjunct her Sun. It was a given- all that hate, jealousy, rage, over an affair and financial issues. Other people I am like huh? When I looked at the chart most recently of wealthy murderer and cross dressing Robert Durst …his chart is an anomaly to me (perhaps because he himself is an anomaly). But the kiss of death and the Google exec, I knew Neptune had to be prominent in his chart and it certainly is.

Neptune ruler of glamour, illusion, deception, water, addictive substances, boats, dreams, secrets,  etc

Often people with a prominent Neptune aren’t seen clearly by others, they have this thin veil, this filter they are seen through and depending on who is looking they may be viewed as a sinner or saint. Hardly in between.

Sometimes people with a prominent Neptune particularly in the 1st house or on the Sun or on their Natal Moon aren’t sure of who they really are so how can anyone else know them?

In any event Forrest Hays had his Sun in Taurus opposite Neptune in Scorpio, with the opposition it is likely you will operate in two distinct manners. So I am sure Hays was all the Taurus Sun is, dutiful, working hard, building his empire, (lets not forget Taurus can be indulgent, they rule greed) so he was buying his homes, and he also on occasion wanted to do his Neptune thing, take his yacht out called Escape, be with his escorts he met on a Seeking Arrangement.  Neptune on the Sun and Moon also speaks of drug use, the desire to escape, the desire to merge with something beyond the mundane. The natal Neptune is also in Scorpio so I am sure she wasn’t his first secret sexual encounter.

His success can be attributed to his natal Sun square Saturn, this is a difficult aspect the person may suffer from low self-esteem , hereditary depression passed down from the father;  the way the individual overcomes this is by working, by accomplishing, by becoming the best in his or her field. They have a desire to achieve to feel validated. I do not want to undermine this aspect it is very challenging. The person feels they have to overcome barriers …the desire to achieve is strong and can be reflected in his 4.5 million dollar home and a dozen other things we will probably never know about, because Neptune opposing his sun will keep things hidden.

I would love to tell you what he did as a career but I can’t Saturn planet of work and structure is exactly square his Neptune (secrets) as one article stated

“Hayes then went on to Google for a high-paying job at their top-secret location, where impossible dreams are transformed into reality”

Poor Forrest Hayes, his family is probably wondering who he really was. He probably didn’t know who he really was. I think these stories can be a lesson for anyone that looks at other peoples’ lives and sees a perfect picture. You never know what is lurking below the surface, don’t let that thin veil of Neptune fool you

Forrest Hayes Natal Chart

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Once Upon a Time, Mazzy Star and Neptune Square Natal Venus Transit

once upon a timeclockimagesCA1ESM6SimagesCAUM0JOXTransit Neptune Squaring my natal Venus is the only major transit I have right now, though Pluto in Capricorn opposing my natal Sun is well on its way and even closer is Pluto in Capricorn squaring my natal moon in Aries. I expected this transit to be a “feel good one”. Ah not so fast. When does it end I want to throw my hands up into the sky. Apparently not until sometime NEXT year. I cried today while grocery shopping I always wonder why am I never given the opportunity to dream a bit. Recently I was telling a story to someone; I had a date with some guy ; many years ago. We went back to house, nothing happened but I had taken off this very heavy gladiator bracelet I had on and put it on his sofa table. He gave me a tour of his place and upon seeing his walk in closet I exclaimed, “Wow I can fit all my shit in here”. Next thing I knew he was handing me my bracelet and quickly escorting me to my car. I knew he wouldn’t call; quite frankly I was 22 and didn’t care. When he handed me the bracelet I felt this surge of energy, the I’m never calling you again I’m not ready for you to move all your shit into my house energy.

This tale is indicative of my entire existence with men, and lately the question has been on my mind; why can’t I just dream a little bit. Why is every beginning so obviously marred with a tragic ending. Why do things end before they begin? I watch other people conduct entire faux relationships you know who they are, they dress alike, perhaps one is always cheating but there are these large enouncements concerning there relationship on face book, perhaps they even share a facebook account (not that anything is wrong with that) and I’m like who is actually believing this shit show. It all seems so very transparent. With that being said I would like to dream for awhile, I would like to be that naive to believe what someone tells me, never question and dare not know any better. But I’m not afforded this and I would like to know why?

The technical stuff
Neptune is currently in its sign of rulership Pisces; it will remain in Pisces until 2025! Neptune rules dreams, illusions, addictions, charlatans, deceptions, self sacrifice. Neptune is currently squaring my Venus in Gemini; Venus rules love, beauty, finance,and sex to some extent. Text books say during this transit you are in danger of picking up liars, schemers, martyr, expierence problems with finance, people taking advantage of you and indiscrimination when selecting a partner. They say it is better to wait until after this transit is complete to enter into a relationship, I say sign me the fuck up, I want to dream! Bob Mark the Astrologer so eloquently put it you are prone to like people because of their issues “Oh you poor little thing. I know you’re an alcoholic, a junkie, a con-artist, and tri-sexual. Let me marry you and make you all better! Do yourself a favor and use the magic number instead. Please memorize it. It is 911. Dial that and have them taken away. Let a professional take care of them”

My issue is more of the fact that I don’t get the chance to dream I would love to have some moments where I can escape (Neptune rules escapism) my daily life! I want to listen to Mazzy Star (Neptune and Venus rule music) and dance around my living room with someone while drinking some wine (Neptune rules alcohol) Venus can rule excess. I can say with direct honesty that I’m looking for an escape from my day to day existence and none has been provided. I want the pleasure of believing even if it isn’t true; instead here I’m in reality everything so painfully obvious. Never permitted to dream. I listen to women tell me, oh I know he has no job”, but I really love him”. And I think hmmm ok or he hit me but it was just once. I think to myself there isn’t a transit in the world that will make me love you more than I love me. Ok. But still I would like nights that you believe will last forever, that feeling when 2 people are first falling in love & you know it. You can feel it on the other person and you believe it. It has been so long since I loved someone and even longer since I loved the right someone. I have been blissfully unaware how closed I have been until just recently. I invited someone over I will call him “Scorpio moon”, we talked about life, astrology, music, Mazzy Starr oddly playing and for a minute I believe she was stuck on repeat, and I felt like I was outside myself watching time move on. I haven’t talked with or kissed a man since my plutonic love which now oddly feels like another lifetime ago. When telling the story to my coworker I said it was so weird I feel like a part of me has been frozen in time and Scorpio Moon set my clock forward. Your biological clock, she teased 😉
No like the clock on the show Once Upon a Time on ABC, all these people are trapped in time for the first season unaware of there previous lives. Karmic Ties and lost Loves Oh my! They know something is missing, but not sure what it is. One of the characters on the show is a child that demands an adult Bring back the happy endings.
I cant help but wonder where is my happy ending or atleast faux happy ending. Neptune square Venus in astrology is dubbed the “farytale aspect” Apparently the only farytales that exist for me are on tv because I never get the chance to dream. Reality is an ever looming prescence.