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You can not make some travel on a path of self discovery if their soul isnt ready to leave where they are

Published December 28, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

I have been drawn to men draped in melancholy for quite some time I am beginning to think this has to do with my Saturn in the 7th house this isn’t exactly attracting the most joyous of partners  This placement often indicates marrying an older and colder partner. Ah it is what it is I suppose they can be older and they certainly do not have to be light but as of 2017 they will need to be happy.

You think that you can save them, you think that you can show them, you think that you can heal them but it never works that way.

I am telling you on your lengthy lists of what you seek in a partner you better put on the top of the list

  1. Happy
  2. Healthy

My Plutonic love-who this blog is written in dedication too- was heavy, depressed, his energy was thick. I would spend one night with him and sleep for days afterward. We were connected by etheric cords from navel chakra to navel chakra. He would drain me of my life force, that’s how we were connected. I was his source of power, maybe his source of light .img_1497img_1496img_1494 This is a man that has anything and everything you could possibly desire but he was perpetually sad. He has Sun Square Saturn and Chiron loosely conjunct his Sun and Mercury.

Saturn in aspect to planets will restrict and suppress the planets natural expression. Sun/Saturn often represents a father issue, perhaps inheriting paternal depression; other people have an absent father (Suri Cruise) or a general feeling of not being able to live up to the father.The identity (the Sun) is restricted. This placement is often found in millionaires as they use accomplishment and work (Saturn) to fill themselves (sun). Chiron on the Sun indicates a core wounding with in the sense of self. The sun is your identity, your self-expression, so here there may be a wound surrounding your sense of self. Not feeling good enough, you may feel like a part of you in missing, you may feel empty –Clearly these being the harsher manifestations

I also dated a crazy Gemini,  he was Saturian as well with his natal Moon placed in Capricorn this is common in people who are depressed and often found in alcoholics He had many addictions from gambling to cocaine but he will forever be one of my favorite people in the world. For all of his bad habits he was honest about all of them and never professed to be anything other than who he was.

Though I will say addiction is NOT who you are it is something you do that covers up who you are, that drowns out the voice of who you are. Addiction will fill you with lies about who you are but I will save that post for another day.

He also had Venus conjunct Saturn; blocks to love, suppressed feelings of love, past hurts that are difficult to get beyond in matters  of the heart.And as of late- the man who will culminate this lesson for me since I didn’t get it the first 10 times…well he is a Capricorn rising (Chart ruler is Saturn) I will tell you when I first saw him I thought well isn’t this a beautiful creature ( His Neptune opposes my Mars and Venus) he looked like a man that was oblivious to how beautiful he was (Natal Chiron square Ascendant exact, this shows a wound surrounding the way you look ) I remember thinking this man looks like he forgot the real meaning of life. He looks like he forgot what love feels like (he has Natal Saturn opposite Venus, blocks to love, chooses work over love, being closed to love). It never occurred to me that maybe he didn’t want to know what love was, maybe he didnt want to remember. Maybe he prefered it this way, life this way. Maybe thats why he keeps a door of revolving women, if you keep the rotation going you dont have to worry about anyone getting too close.

“When you have lived in a dungeon for a very long time the light when you see it can actually hurt your eyes” ~Marianne Williamson

That is Saturn in the 7th house attracting men with planets placed in Capricorn, planets in hard aspect to Saturn men that are blocked in some manner, men that think accomplishment is the gateway to self-love. Surprise it isn’t! No amount of accolades, money, or outer work will compensate for a lack of inner work

“You and I both know that we have shadow sides. We have edges my darling resistances to love” ~Marianne Williamson (She has Capricorn moon might I add and Sun square Saturn)

“A ring of fear surrounds love like rings around Saturn” ~Marianne Williamson

Even my crazy partying Gemini ran his own company work hard play hard was the motto.

I thought perhaps every time  that I could show them there is more to life, you think you can tell them life holds more beauty then 7 figures sitting in a bank account. I want to shout none of this shit matters !!!! But they don’t hear me. You can show someone the path but you can not make them travel it.


Richard Burton put it best when he said “we operate on alien wave-lengths. You are as distant as Venus–planet, I mean–and I am tone-deaf to the music of the spheres”

Maybe my Gemini listened more so then the others, he had Aquarius rising so he was evolved he use to tell me I think you know things no one else does. I was deeply honored

With this Capricorn Rising and my crazy Gemini My Moon conjunct their natal Chiron I don’t know if I possessed a conscious need to heal them. Chiron is where you carry your deepest wound accordingly to cafeastrology.com “Chiron represents insecurity, where we feel an endless need to prove ourselves”

I do not have a heavy Saturn or  Chiron in my natal chart I have Chiron hanging out in my 2nd house …we all have Chiron some place it opposes my Uranus in the 8th I read that those of us that have Uranus opposite Chiron “reiki, acupuncture, therapy are some examples of the subtle energy healing techniques that may be apart of your wounding, healing journey”

It was this Capricorn rising that inspired me to  get more involved in Reiki healing I am going for my certification at the beginning of 2017. I had touched him lightly in his stomach area and felt this wound, it was open, it was like I stuck my hand into another dimension and I quickly pulled it out.

It is said in synastry the moon person can heal and nurture the chiron person. I read on yahoo answers “when your moon conjuncts his chiron you possess the innate and uncanny ability to see through his facade and literally feel his pain”

Some people prefer to live behind a mask, some people prefer we don’t see the Wizard of Oz man behind the curtain. On some level they  enjoy their man made prisons it feels safer living with in them.

It takes alot to live your most authentic life, this personal path of endless self analysis that those of us are on isn’t easy. And yes we may meet people who have lost sight of who they are, and we may encounter people that forgot the beauty in love, and sometimes I think we- those of us in the metaphysical field- feel: I see the soul of you I know the whole of you… but you can not remind people who they are when they would rather forget. And you can not heal anyone that doesn’t want to heal. You can not make some travel on a path of self discovery if their soul isnt ready to leave where they are. It simply doesnt work this way. And while this saddens me I know I am living authentically I have gone to war with my wounds I am healed I am present and ready for great love and in the words of Nayyirah Waheed “You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready”

 

Karmic Ties

Published October 13, 2011 by starsmoonandsun

I have written about Free Will Astrology, Plutonic love and the fact that I am on astrological Journey. Truth be told I’m always looking, searching and as someone once told me, over thinking. I do not believe in coincidence and have wrestled with the concept of why certain things happen. Why? The Why always haunts me. It always has, since my father died when I was 5; for as long as I can remember I have always questioned life. Questioned God? Questioned what is meant to be? If we take Route A or Route B do we end up in the same place when our lives are complete.

Lately I have been overrun with why, why is it I keep seeing someone I do not wish to see. If you read my entry on Plutonic Love, I use to believe we were destined. That we belonged together, seriously what else was I too think….I realized I was wrong the day he got married to someone else. The day out of the 841 Hotels in New York City he booked his wedding block at my hotel. I found out 3 days prior to their arrival when I attempted to check in another guest but typed in the wrong name. And there they were; his name 13 times, I could not breathe. I gasped for air, felt as though I had been punched in the stomach and had to leave immediately and console myself in a bottle of Ciroc Vodka. Why was this happening?

I will never have the answer as to why he chose my place of employment, the way I see it if he did it intentionally he is nothing short of cruel and if he didn’t think of me at all…well quite frankly that is WORSE. I would rather be loved or hated, indifference is nothing I aspire to & rarely do I inspire indifference in people, I blame that on my Sun square Pluto. Love me or hate me but never in between. Needless to say I called him in a panic, he informed me in fact that he was not the one to pick the hotel and it was all a coincidence. There goes that word again, thrown around so lightly. How could I ever have believed he was “the one”. 10 days later after having dusted myself off, seeking no solace that a natural disaster ruined his wedding( no shock here it was the worst day in the entire year to get hitched astroligically speaking) I owned up to my own bouts of delusion and accepted that we were not meant to be, only to pull up to the front of my house to see him with wife in tow. His dogs’ sad face at my window. My friends would joke the next day and label me “the dog whisperer”. Ah but had I been stuck at a traffic light a little longer, had someone stopped to ask me 1 simple question before leaving work I may have never seen them, but I did. I laughed at the absurdity of it all and thought had we still remained friendly he would indeed tell me, “what a coincidence”.

Karmic Ties in astrology appear to be unbreakable, for better or worse. Why am I the only recipient of this I have yet to figure out. I do know that I have changed my route on the way to work, have altered where I go in attempt to avoid him….but there are still times I see him. We are strangers now, Imagine. Just strangers. As I yearn to cut all ties a quote comes to mind: You often meet your destiny on the road you took to avoid it. Karmic ties are unavoidable and I have little to no hope of avoiding him.

In synastry the moons nodes coming in contact with another person’s moon often indicate “star crossed lovers” or “Romeo and Juliet” type of contacts. When an outer planet Saturn, Neptune or Pluto makes contact with another person’s Personal Planet (Moon, Mars Venus, Mercury) this is also Karmic. There are various degrees and each Karmic tie is different. According to http://www.caféastrology.com Pluto ties which we had many of “suggest a theme of domination, issues of power, betrayal, and dependence”. Presently I feel very much betrayed, though I’m not sure by whom either him or the universe.

I recently treated myself to a Reiki healing session, a pretty young woman lay her hands over me as visions danced around my head, wild horses, this small pretend horse my father bought me as a child, I was flying above this man’s house, twirling and dancing….The Reiki healer advised me “my chakras to the past were now closed” and yet I saw him the very next day, just driving by a smile plastered on his face. It didn’t hurt like it use to, I simply thought What the f***! I sought council through Tarot Card Readers, an intuitive, a psychic, an astrologer and I-ching reading…you name it and I have done it. I feel like the little boy in the Movie Hereafter with Matt Damon, I just wanted the answer, I wanted “the why”? And every single one advised me: the both of you share energy, you have lived many lifetimes together. The last woman said, “isn’t it nice to know that some connections are everlasting”, a sweet grin plastered on her face. Uh-nope.

I was advised to not speak about him, thoughts become words, words become actions and actions become things. And this energy is a living thing. This will be my last entry about him, I have done all I can to cut the ties, meditation, yoga, reiki and for once in my life I have decided I may never get what the lesson is here and I may never know why this happened but I will just accept it. I must accept it, that I may never have the “why” And as my dear friend said, when you stop caring you will not be in tuned to it, you wont ask WHY when he drives by……. because you won’t see him at all.

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