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saturn and love

All posts tagged saturn and love

Saturn aspecting Venus; This isnt personal its business

Published September 28, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

Lately I have been thinking about love being the antidote for everything & how its important to love people even when they are unlovable. Of coarse from a distance, on a universal level: I see you are a human being made up from the same molecules and stardust as I am so I can love you even you aren’t lovable. I can send you waves of love from the sanctuary of  my own space.

I have written extensively about Saturn in regards to love, I would say I write about Saturn and Pluto the most because these are the two energies I am most familiar with. I have Saturn in the 7th house I have written about this a lot, how those of us with Saturn in the 7th or on Venus (Saturn opposite, conjunct, square to Venus) struggle with divine time in our love lives, how we attract authoritative partners or we have to be the authority in our relationships, how we have to work so hard when it comes to love, the way we use defense mechanisms to hold people apart from us. We cant take rejection, we can set the bar very high in love, we can meet people at the wrong time, we can meet people that aren’t available and anyone we do meet usually has a heavy karmic debt or element to it.

Where ever Saturn is; life is hard, life is difficult. As a cure to my own Saturn in the 7th I think to myself if you hurt me I will love you –from a distance any way- I have made a conscious effort to not set the bar so high that people have to climb to some idealized height. When something feels uncomfortable and I wish the whole earth would swallow me whole I will stay and face it. I have decided the next time I find love I will put the work in instead of running for my life because this seems “so hard”. And I will accept that my relationships will never be equal, never on equal footing that someone will always run the show though in all honesty I would rather someone else take charge. If I trust you to lead I will surely follow. Saturn in the 7th believes in traditional roles, conservative relationships that last. And I do believe in love the kind that captures your soul.

I was thinking about the men I attract that have Venus in hard aspect to Saturn; these arent warm and fuzzy men I suppose. These are the type of men that put work over love, that have blocks to love, the types that might bail if they sense that you may require too much. Some that may take an intimate expression as a sign of being needy. People that have Venus in hard aspect to Saturn are often not comfortable with physical expressions of love, Saturn is the planet of Authority, business, coolness, structure, restriction and aspecting Venus planet of love and leisure they likely have blocks to love. They are not at ease expressing love and affection. They may chose work over love, hide behind their work, keep love at a distance and deep down believe that they are unworthy of great love. They may forgo real love all together believing it is simply too hard or unrealistic.

I must tweet once a week

We have to let it all go, people only love you from their own levels of consciousness

I wanted to caution those of you  (and perhaps remind myself) that have met someone with Venus in aspect to Saturn to not take it personally this is their issue. Sometimes we have to leave people to do the fucked up things they do, sometimes we have to recognize that people have blocks and defense mechanisms within them so high and so deeply embedded in their unconscious minds that an lifetime may pass and they will still hold love apart from themselves.

My advice: Don’t take it personal love them any way recognize it is all their loss. They may very well let a lifetime pass them by never knowing what it is like to let someone in close enough to see the texture of their soul In the words of Dr Wayne Dyer if-you-meet-a-soul

And Nayyirah Waheed

 

someone-can-be-madly-in-love-with-you

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Saturn/Venus; Keeping Love at Bay

Published July 8, 2015 by starsmoonandsun

I have been thinking about Saturn lately. I know I have written about him before you can take a look here:

http://starsmoonandsun.com/tag/saturn-conjunct-venus/

http://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/love-is-hard-saturn/

http://starsmoonandsun.com/tag/saturn-transits/

http://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/saturn-in-synastry-round-2/

http://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/let-sleeping-babies-lie-saturn-in-the-saturn/

If you are familiar with me you will know I have Saturn in the 7th house, Saturn in the 7th is similar to Venus in Capricorn, Capricorn or Aquarius on the 7th house cusp or Saturn aspecting Venus Hastag #SameShitDifferentAspect

Restriction in love

Blocks to love

Delays in love

I admittedly only recently came to realize I keep people at arms length, Saturn is cautious-Once bonds are formed with a Saturn person they know they are etched in stone, Sade’s “Like a Tattoo” song comes to mind. Personally I also have a heavy Pluto on my Sun, Moon, Jupiter, Saturn, Midheaven and Ascendant. I am prone towards extremes in dealing with people. I either love them or hate them, rarely lingering in indifference this only enhances difficulties in relationships.

Back to Saturn

A few weeks ago someone expressed to me they don’t feel I love them; they are undergoing Saturn hard transits (conjunction, oppositions and/or square) to their Sun, Moon and Venus simultaneously.  I attempted to reassure them that I do love them to no avail. They said they don’t feel I love them because of this that and the other. I thought to myself: this is so Saturn, wanting people to prove your love to them, setting a standard or a bar for how people should love you.  I thought of the quote

“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have”

Saturn/Venus can put loved ones through a series of tests wanting the other party to prove their love and devotion.  Likely the person jumping through hoops is set up for failure because Saturn sets the bar too high, Saturn can have unrealistic expectations. I contemplated how to proceed but I’m not a fan of proving myself to anyone, take me as I am or pretty much watch me as I go is my motto.

I know this person is going through quite an ordeal they aren’t into astrology and they aren’t in a state of awareness so I left the door open for them to come back… likely when this transit is over.

Saturn/Venus transits or natal can indicate issues of self worth, setting high unachievable standards for others, relationships feel like they are a lot of work, sometimes a person feels so unlovable themselves they project that out into the world feeling as though no one will love them (love is first and foremost an inside job). You can’t keep people at bay while simultaneously desiring them to love you. Life doesn’t work that way.

I confess I myself in the past have had walls (Saturn) so high with a list of requirements it would be unlikely anyone could reach.

According to Liz Green in Saturn An New Look at  A Old Devil “Venus Saturn combinations imply a certain amount of emotional pain in the early home life” it suggests lack of affection or direct appreciation for who the child is as an individual according to Greene. She further goes on to write about Venus Saturn contacts “These are people whose emotional growth has been stunted in childhood”.

Sometimes you find a Venus/Saturn person so devastated by a first love or heartbreak they cut themselves off vowing to never let anyone hurt them again.

I have known a man for several years he has Moon in Capricorn and Venus conjunct Saturn. He hasn’t been in a relationship ever nearing the age of 50 and while he is always gracious and fun (Gemini Sun), and bluntly honest (Mars on the Ascendant in Aquarius) I don’t think he will ever let anyone in. Unlike the other person I mentioned, he isnt open to love PERIOD, he isnt looking for you to prove anything to him. He seems to spend his life with people that do not know him, a superficial sort of travel and party lifestyle with various companions/friends/lovers. I saw him recently for my birthday after having not seeing him in about a year and a half. We have great synastry so its always all love, light and a natural ease when we get together. But I know he will never let anyone in. Maybe that’s a part of my own Saturn in the 7th house, attracting people that keep me out. I always have a strong desire toward prying someone open. This would never happen here, he is tightly sealed. He mentioned to me how its always easy being together, that no one in his entire life ever treated him like I do. I once bought him flowers. He is the only man I ever bought flowers for. My Mars in Taurus conjuncts his Venus I’m sure that had something to do with it. Sometimes if I see something, a quote, a cartoon, or a piece of art that reminds me of him I will send it to him. He said no one ever sends him things or touches him so light not like I do. I don’t attempt to change/mold/prove to him anything only making a mental note that the reason he surrounds himself with people that don’t care about getting close to him is so he will never have to get hurt. He prefers it that way. Recently telling me “if people see your weak spot they will only use it to hurt you”. Saturn on Venus can’t deal with the thought of rejection. If you never get close to anyone or let anyone in, no one can possibly hurt you.

This is a man with both of his feminine Planets influenced by Saturn, Moon in Capricorn (rules mom and women in his life) is ruled by Saturn and Venus the female principal is squared by Saturn. He will not acknowledge anything family wise except to say everyone loves his parents and his father is a high level attorney. Moon/Saturn or Moon in Capricorn restricts emotional outpouring. Here is another issue of feeling worthy or needing people to prove their worth to you. According to the book The Astrology of Family Dynamics Moon in Capricorn “it is not the lack of love but the ability to demonstrate or express loving feelings is diminished”. I simply wish him love, light and healing thoughts always knowing his capacity to receive love is at a limited capacity.

Right now I am going through a Saturn opposite my natal Venus transit, oppositional transits often involve people on the outside, coming to you or you can experience the opposition as a projection…those people don’t love me, those people have hurt me. Placing blame on to others what you don’t recognize in yourself that is what is happening with the person i mentioned early on.

Ultimately Saturn lessons involve; learning how to let people in, learning how to trust, learning to forgive people for not being 100% of what you want them to be; no one can meet that requirement. And if you have Saturn/Venus people in your life simply tell them I love you I am here if you need me and wish them love and light.

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