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Venus in Solar Return 12th House 

Published December 30, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

Today I tweeted I feel like I’m having a Neptune Venus transit but I’m not. When Neptune transits Venus in hard aspect we can lose touch with reality, we lose ourself in love, we believe in things ; in people blindly we seek transcendental love we believe we have met our soulmate.

As I was driving to work I realized I had Venus in my Solar Return 12th house this is similar to a Venus/Neptune transit

When I first saw this I thought wow am I going to have an affair this year? What secret relationship am I going to engage in. When people come to me for readings and they have this aspect (the majority of my clients are married) it is with 90% certainty they are having an affair.
I’m half way through my solar Return and let me just say this is the year of not seeing men clearly. It would take a lot for me to fall in love Romantiscim is my thing but delusion isn’t.
The solar Return 12th house (home to secrets and self undoing) has Venus (planet of love) on my natal 6th house (work) perhaps I meet men at work that are the cause of my own self undoing. Perhaps I met a man at work I didn’t see clearly. Sometimes astrology is that literal
I love it when it is.

I see the soul of you

I know the whole of you

That’s the kind of day dreamy feelings that enveloped me
He is a player I was told and I laughed no he isn’t.  It’s still hard to believe that he is. I take full ownership of this situation afterall I never asked. I never asked if he had a harem of women. I never asked anything. That’s Neptune you don’t ask you just believe you already know
He was Neptunian in every sense of the word.
I don’t want to make this post sound as if I’m broken hearted it wasn’t that deep it was just a sort of light disappointment.  My deepest wound came when I had Saturn conjunct moon in the solar Return 5th house. Nothing will ever hurt like that.
Dissapointment :That’s the hallmark of Neptune in relationships in love that’s the staple the dream never meets reality.
Just wanted to caution those of you with Neptune in the 12th of your solar Return it’s the secret lover, the love that causes your own self undoing, the lover you see through rose colored glasses, the Pisces lover, the alcoholic lover, the married lover, the fantasy lover that can’t breathe a breath in the reality of your life lover.

You can not make some travel on a path of self discovery if their soul isnt ready to leave where they are

Published December 28, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

I have been drawn to men draped in melancholy for quite some time I am beginning to think this has to do with my Saturn in the 7th house this isn’t exactly attracting the most joyous of partners  This placement often indicates marrying an older and colder partner. Ah it is what it is I suppose they can be older and they certainly do not have to be light but as of 2017 they will need to be happy.

You think that you can save them, you think that you can show them, you think that you can heal them but it never works that way.

I am telling you on your lengthy lists of what you seek in a partner you better put on the top of the list

  1. Happy
  2. Healthy

My Plutonic love-who this blog is written in dedication too- was heavy, depressed, his energy was thick. I would spend one night with him and sleep for days afterward. We were connected by etheric cords from navel chakra to navel chakra. He would drain me of my life force, that’s how we were connected. I was his source of power, maybe his source of light .img_1497img_1496img_1494 This is a man that has anything and everything you could possibly desire but he was perpetually sad. He has Sun Square Saturn and Chiron loosely conjunct his Sun and Mercury.

Saturn in aspect to planets will restrict and suppress the planets natural expression. Sun/Saturn often represents a father issue, perhaps inheriting paternal depression; other people have an absent father (Suri Cruise) or a general feeling of not being able to live up to the father.The identity (the Sun) is restricted. This placement is often found in millionaires as they use accomplishment and work (Saturn) to fill themselves (sun). Chiron on the Sun indicates a core wounding with in the sense of self. The sun is your identity, your self-expression, so here there may be a wound surrounding your sense of self. Not feeling good enough, you may feel like a part of you in missing, you may feel empty –Clearly these being the harsher manifestations

I also dated a crazy Gemini,  he was Saturian as well with his natal Moon placed in Capricorn this is common in people who are depressed and often found in alcoholics He had many addictions from gambling to cocaine but he will forever be one of my favorite people in the world. For all of his bad habits he was honest about all of them and never professed to be anything other than who he was.

Though I will say addiction is NOT who you are it is something you do that covers up who you are, that drowns out the voice of who you are. Addiction will fill you with lies about who you are but I will save that post for another day.

He also had Venus conjunct Saturn; blocks to love, suppressed feelings of love, past hurts that are difficult to get beyond in matters  of the heart.And as of late- the man who will culminate this lesson for me since I didn’t get it the first 10 times…well he is a Capricorn rising (Chart ruler is Saturn) I will tell you when I first saw him I thought well isn’t this a beautiful creature ( His Neptune opposes my Mars and Venus) he looked like a man that was oblivious to how beautiful he was (Natal Chiron square Ascendant exact, this shows a wound surrounding the way you look ) I remember thinking this man looks like he forgot the real meaning of life. He looks like he forgot what love feels like (he has Natal Saturn opposite Venus, blocks to love, chooses work over love, being closed to love). It never occurred to me that maybe he didn’t want to know what love was, maybe he didnt want to remember. Maybe he prefered it this way, life this way. Maybe thats why he keeps a door of revolving women, if you keep the rotation going you dont have to worry about anyone getting too close.

“When you have lived in a dungeon for a very long time the light when you see it can actually hurt your eyes” ~Marianne Williamson

That is Saturn in the 7th house attracting men with planets placed in Capricorn, planets in hard aspect to Saturn men that are blocked in some manner, men that think accomplishment is the gateway to self-love. Surprise it isn’t! No amount of accolades, money, or outer work will compensate for a lack of inner work

“You and I both know that we have shadow sides. We have edges my darling resistances to love” ~Marianne Williamson (She has Capricorn moon might I add and Sun square Saturn)

“A ring of fear surrounds love like rings around Saturn” ~Marianne Williamson

Even my crazy partying Gemini ran his own company work hard play hard was the motto.

I thought perhaps every time  that I could show them there is more to life, you think you can tell them life holds more beauty then 7 figures sitting in a bank account. I want to shout none of this shit matters !!!! But they don’t hear me. You can show someone the path but you can not make them travel it.


Richard Burton put it best when he said “we operate on alien wave-lengths. You are as distant as Venus–planet, I mean–and I am tone-deaf to the music of the spheres”

Maybe my Gemini listened more so then the others, he had Aquarius rising so he was evolved he use to tell me I think you know things no one else does. I was deeply honored

With this Capricorn Rising and my crazy Gemini My Moon conjunct their natal Chiron I don’t know if I possessed a conscious need to heal them. Chiron is where you carry your deepest wound accordingly to cafeastrology.com “Chiron represents insecurity, where we feel an endless need to prove ourselves”

I do not have a heavy Saturn or  Chiron in my natal chart I have Chiron hanging out in my 2nd house …we all have Chiron some place it opposes my Uranus in the 8th I read that those of us that have Uranus opposite Chiron “reiki, acupuncture, therapy are some examples of the subtle energy healing techniques that may be apart of your wounding, healing journey”

It was this Capricorn rising that inspired me to  get more involved in Reiki healing I am going for my certification at the beginning of 2017. I had touched him lightly in his stomach area and felt this wound, it was open, it was like I stuck my hand into another dimension and I quickly pulled it out.

It is said in synastry the moon person can heal and nurture the chiron person. I read on yahoo answers “when your moon conjuncts his chiron you possess the innate and uncanny ability to see through his facade and literally feel his pain”

Some people prefer to live behind a mask, some people prefer we don’t see the Wizard of Oz man behind the curtain. On some level they  enjoy their man made prisons it feels safer living with in them.

It takes alot to live your most authentic life, this personal path of endless self analysis that those of us are on isn’t easy. And yes we may meet people who have lost sight of who they are, and we may encounter people that forgot the beauty in love, and sometimes I think we- those of us in the metaphysical field- feel: I see the soul of you I know the whole of you… but you can not remind people who they are when they would rather forget. And you can not heal anyone that doesn’t want to heal. You can not make some travel on a path of self discovery if their soul isnt ready to leave where they are. It simply doesnt work this way. And while this saddens me I know I am living authentically I have gone to war with my wounds I am healed I am present and ready for great love and in the words of Nayyirah Waheed “You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready”

 

Saturn the Buzz Kill to Jupiter

Published December 17, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

I am tired, drained really I do not have much energy and I feel the energy I do have is spent doing what I have to do, I don’t really have any excess to do the things I want to do. I have the sun in the 5th house my identity, my journey if you will is centered around love and creating responsibilities can exhaust me. It is very important that you tend to your natal sun, that you nourish it by the house that it is placed in. You need to remember to feed it. Energetically I always run very high I have Sun square Moon and a Cardinal T square in my Chart Cardinal signs are doers. My mom said she was going to buy me a makeup bag that read “I am busy” because I always am. I laugh at people that have the time to correct my grammatical errors on twitter, I am pretty sure they aren’t doing all that I do in a day. Running, going, writing, working, giving readings, taken a class, on and on and on until this week I hit a wall.

The culprit; Saturn is opposite my Jupiter via transit

Saturn Rules

  • Responsibility
  • Time
  • Work
  • Boundaries
  • Lessons
  • Practicality Zzzzzzz

According to Jeanne Avery in Astrological Aspects Your Inner Dialogs

Saturn “describes shoulds, musts, and oughts”

“Saturn is the testing ground of life and indicates the greatest karmic lesson to be learned”

I don’t do Saturn very well.

I believe if you look to the natal chart you will see how hard a transit for you will be. Not all astrologers believe this; I think if you are heavy say Plutonian Pluto transits will be easier for you because you are familiar with that energy. I have Pluto square my Sun, opposite my moon exact, trine Jupiter, sextile Saturn, Neptune & midheaven and trine my ascendant. Pluto is woven into me, death and rebirth it all comes natural. I just finished a Pluto opposite Sun square moon transit and it was pretty much all gravy.

But Saturn transits god you can find me laying in bed weeping. I do have Saturn natal in a grand fire trine which helps me out with work and money but it is square my Mars and Uranus. “You had me at fuck the system” has been the motto since birth.

Mars energy in a square to Saturn I will always be at war (mars) with authority (Saturn)

Uranus square Saturn indicates I rebel (Uranus) against the status quo (Saturn)

I am just not very good with rules and structure I prefer to be more free floating.

Saturn is now opposing my natal Jupiter in the 4th house it will be exact on New Year’s Eve Oh the joy

Jupiter Represents

  • Expansion
  • Optimism
  • Good Luck
  • Joy

“The Jupitarian quality is a marvelous combination of practicality and enthusiasm. The reverse quality is disappointment. If the aim is too high and the goals are missed the individual can be paralyzed by the let down” –Jeanne Avery

You want to look where Jupiter and Sagittarius are placed in your natal chart to see where you feel lucky or optimistic. I have Sagittarius on my Midheaven, I think this gives me a hope  that things will work out and when they don’t I would say I am greatly disappointed. I usually work from an inner knowing which I think is due to my Jupiter in the 4th house. The 4th house is the root of the chart and reflects what we carry deep within us among other things. So I have never been a 5 year planner I am a go with the flow listen to my own guidance sort of person.

I intuit mostly everything I do. I announced the other day at work I was booking a trip to Machu Piccchu and my colleague said Oh Peru…I had no idea where it even was! I sort of get called to do things

I have written before that I do not feel Jupiter brings us lotto wins or grand romances I think it infuses the planet or house with an optimism and belief that everything will be ok and usually it is until it isn’t.

And that brings me to Saturn opposite Jupiter

Saturn squashes the belief, the optimism, the joy that Jupiter holds. It tests (Saturn always tests) your beliefs, your truths, your inner workings (if Jupiter is in the 4th house).

Robert Hand writes in his book Planets in Aspect about Saturn opposite Jupiter transit

“During this time your opportunities for growth and expansion are limited”.

PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO F&%ING TIRED TO DO ANYTHING

“You often feel as if your personal freedom is unduly limited by others”.

“This transit is a useful if not always pleasant encounter with reality”

Saturn squelches the joy and optimism of Jupiter don’t let anyone ever tell you any different.

For those of you that have this natal oppositions can work like a swinging door so you can be optimistic, joyful, overly eager and then fall victim to Saturn the disappointment, melancholy, and depression can kick in. Robert Plletier writes in “Planets in Aspect” those that have this natal

“You fluctuate between knowing what you are worth to having doubts about your value”

I know there are worse transits, (they will happen for me in 2018 when Saturn enters Capricorn, I seriously just finished recovering from Saturn in Libra) that’s the beauty that comes with age when you are young you think this will never end, when you are older and know astrology you can simply open your ephemeris and say I may have to drag my uninspired tired ass all the way through December but as of January 1st this transit is over and I can go back to being my high energy manic self perhaps with a few lessons in the bag.

A Neptune Affair; you are the dream and I am the dreamer

Published October 22, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

In another life he could have been mine I suppose all of his planets fall in my 7th house and 3 of mine fall in his. Perhaps that is why I had to know him. The 7th house is what you seek in a mate and a part of me felt like wow there you are.  This vague I am so comfortable to be here with you.

7th-house-overlays

I see him through this film this kaleidoscope of colors. I think he is beautiful

I have had this song on repeat for a minute

strange-and-beautiful

 

I was reading a book that said our combined energies is a “gossamer fabric” very beautiful and delicate, light and ethereal.

Neptune is the planet of dreams, addictions, escapism; it rules what you don’t see it over sees fantasies and all things magical.  Neptune eludes, deludes and is evasive. Now you see him now you don’t. My Tarot Reader who knows nothing is particular about my situation pulled out the Magician card a few weeks ago and told me “don’t let him dazzle you with bullshit”. Neptune themed relationships often involve someone with addiction issues, someone looking to be saved and most definitely someone looking to escape.

Sometimes I think Neptune relationships have a difficult time surviving  or even getting off the ground in this cold Saturn ruled world where buying homes and laying down foundations take precedence over dreams and connections on a soul level.  Neptune contacts after all are otherworldly and not of this plane.  The keynotes are telepathy, dreaming of one another, and they are marked by an evasive you just can’t put your finger on them quality.

I have Neptune conjunct my Midheaven, my Neptune is a part of my grand fire trine with moon and Saturn too much reality erodes me, I much prefer the dream the smugness of it all; the gossamer fabric.

Perhaps for someone more cerebral this would never do.

I feel him on the perimeter of me, so close but yet so far. The other day I yelled why are you hiding from me?! And laughed and thought what a Neptunian thing to say, hiding in plain sight. He appears and disappears like a rabbit in a hat. I told him I hope I haunt him forever; I have no doubt I will. One night I will seep into his subconscious while he is on his 7th dream.

 

My Neptune squares his Moon, Mercury and Mars; His Neptune opposes my Venus and Mars.

A lot of talk goes on about who is deceiving who in these connections, perhaps it is neither. Maybe we just deceive ourselves.

I am not sure how he experiences me, he is very clear if not heavy handed in speech and I wonder with my Neptune squaring his Mercury do I bring him some sort of mental confusion. I generally do not talk a lot, not an excess of words. I believe this aspect is said that the Neptune values the intellectual accomplishments of the mercury person but I also feel the Neptune person (moi) is here to teach the mercury person something about spirituality.  A lesson I am going to presume the mercury person doesn’t want to learn  because these two planets meet by square. A square is an obstacle, it shows tension.

With the opposition it has a see saw effect; it is often debated who sees who like a dream. His Neptune opposes my Venus and mars and I see him as this magnificent I don’t even have words to describe sort of way, I tell myself that isn’t who he is that is merely my perception but no matter I see him through that sparkling veneer. It can also be and I have had it the Neptune person project his ideals onto Venus, I dated someone for a year and we had this aspect 100 years later he will say he never loved anyone like me.

These relationships or connections can be marked by forgiveness and compassion so even if something goes wrong an element of –its ok- will permeate.

Neptune relationships are supposed to be the most heart breaking; the dream doesn’t meet the reality. That’s what is written, it offers the promise of paradise that it can’t quite deliver.

Time has taught me to let things be as they are, I do believe what’s meant for you flows to you effortlessly and lets hope whats meant for me strolls in on a pink puffy cloud

portal-back-to-you

i-love-your-face


dreamer-quote

Neptune in Synastry A Perfect Illusion

Published September 28, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

Neptune in synastry is a dream; Neptune rules illusions, deceit, con-artists, drug addicts, the victim and the savior.

Neptune corresponds with several Tarot cards one of them being the 7 of cups.

The 7 of cups looks like it has all these wonderful options all these cups are calling you; enticing you with promises of dream fulfilled. All you ever wanted, all you could ever dream of are right before you.

When you see the 7 of cups in a Tarot reading it foretells that A. everything is not what it seems, B. the person you are inquiring about may have addiction issues or C. (in a romance reading) they may have several options and are playing the field.

I have been thinking about Neptune in synastry lately mostly when I hear Lady Gaga’s New Song “Perfect Illusion”

I don’t need eyes to see
I felt you touchin’ me
High like amphetamine
Maybe you’re just a dream
That’s what it means to crush
Now that I’m wakin’ up
I still feel the blow
But at least now I knowIt wasn’t love, it wasn’t love
It was a perfect illusion (perfect illusion)
Mistaken for love, it wasn’t love
It was a perfect illusion (perfect illusion)

Gaga has a pretty hefty Neptune in her natal chart this is what makes her creative but with Neptune also squaring her sun she has to watch for the tendency to pick up men (sun) that have addiction issues or that she sees through this Neptunian filter.

They say nothing brings greater disappointment in love then heavy Neptune in synastry, the dream perhaps never meets the reality.

some-people-are-magic-and-others-are-just-the-illusion-of-it

(According to Abrhahm Hicks disappointment is taking score too soon. I love that)

Projection is very likely in Neptunian theme relationships, particularly with personal planets opposing Neptune you project your desires, hopes and wishes on to the Neptunian person. But people are people and it is hard for them to live up to ideals. If you place any one person on a pedestal it is only a matter of time before they fall.

It is a lot to live up too; being someone’s dream. I have been called a dream and have viewed others as my dream.  It is an impossibility really. Neptune will have you telepathically communicating, walking through portals in between worlds, it feels otherworldly not of this realm and that why perhaps Neptunian theme relationships aren’t meant to last this world is simply too harsh. I don’t think that it is the Neptune person that is always deceiving us perhaps as much as we deceive ourselves. Yearning to escape a world of mundane, drift away on puffy clouds when the cold real world (Saturn) is just too much to take.

Saturn aspecting Venus; This isnt personal its business

Published September 28, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

Lately I have been thinking about love being the antidote for everything & how its important to love people even when they are unlovable. Of coarse from a distance, on a universal level: I see you are a human being made up from the same molecules and stardust as I am so I can love you even you aren’t lovable. I can send you waves of love from the sanctuary of  my own space.

I have written extensively about Saturn in regards to love, I would say I write about Saturn and Pluto the most because these are the two energies I am most familiar with. I have Saturn in the 7th house I have written about this a lot, how those of us with Saturn in the 7th or on Venus (Saturn opposite, conjunct, square to Venus) struggle with divine time in our love lives, how we attract authoritative partners or we have to be the authority in our relationships, how we have to work so hard when it comes to love, the way we use defense mechanisms to hold people apart from us. We cant take rejection, we can set the bar very high in love, we can meet people at the wrong time, we can meet people that aren’t available and anyone we do meet usually has a heavy karmic debt or element to it.

Where ever Saturn is; life is hard, life is difficult. As a cure to my own Saturn in the 7th I think to myself if you hurt me I will love you –from a distance any way- I have made a conscious effort to not set the bar so high that people have to climb to some idealized height. When something feels uncomfortable and I wish the whole earth would swallow me whole I will stay and face it. I have decided the next time I find love I will put the work in instead of running for my life because this seems “so hard”. And I will accept that my relationships will never be equal, never on equal footing that someone will always run the show though in all honesty I would rather someone else take charge. If I trust you to lead I will surely follow. Saturn in the 7th believes in traditional roles, conservative relationships that last. And I do believe in love the kind that captures your soul.

I was thinking about the men I attract that have Venus in hard aspect to Saturn; these arent warm and fuzzy men I suppose. These are the type of men that put work over love, that have blocks to love, the types that might bail if they sense that you may require too much. Some that may take an intimate expression as a sign of being needy. People that have Venus in hard aspect to Saturn are often not comfortable with physical expressions of love, Saturn is the planet of Authority, business, coolness, structure, restriction and aspecting Venus planet of love and leisure they likely have blocks to love. They are not at ease expressing love and affection. They may chose work over love, hide behind their work, keep love at a distance and deep down believe that they are unworthy of great love. They may forgo real love all together believing it is simply too hard or unrealistic.

I must tweet once a week

We have to let it all go, people only love you from their own levels of consciousness

I wanted to caution those of you  (and perhaps remind myself) that have met someone with Venus in aspect to Saturn to not take it personally this is their issue. Sometimes we have to leave people to do the fucked up things they do, sometimes we have to recognize that people have blocks and defense mechanisms within them so high and so deeply embedded in their unconscious minds that an lifetime may pass and they will still hold love apart from themselves.

My advice: Don’t take it personal love them any way recognize it is all their loss. They may very well let a lifetime pass them by never knowing what it is like to let someone in close enough to see the texture of their soul In the words of Dr Wayne Dyer if-you-meet-a-soul

And Nayyirah Waheed

 

someone-can-be-madly-in-love-with-you

Progressed Sun Square Mars Transcending My Ego come hell or high water

Published September 3, 2016 by starsmoonandsun

I have several hard core transits right now Pluto is opposite my sun and squaring my moon and Uranus is exactly squaring my mercury. I am familiar with the Pluto energy I have Pluto on everything natal. Not all astrologers believe this, but I think when energy is familiar to you, you will not feel the transit as much because it is already integrated into your psyche/life and what have you.

What’s doing me in is this progressed sun square natal mars:

Textbook says you will have trouble with young men (this can sometimes be a violent aspect)

If you are not familiar with progressions and how to read them click below

https://starsmoonandsun.com/2012/03/04/a-breif-introduction-into-progressions/

 

The Sun and Mars both represent men, the men in your life. What the astrology textbook doesn’t tell you is that man will be like an alien life form from outer space.

This is Karmic his Saturn opposes my Venus and my Saturn squares his moon At his worst he may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder at the very least he doesn’t know how to love a woman properly but somehow I am stuck with him. This is a Saturn in synastry thing it binds for better or worse that is why it is often preferred to see in the charts of people that marry they will be less inclined to skip out. However I am not dating this man nor am I marrying him but he has been sent here from outer space to drive me crazy.

I confess I know I will be a better woman for it, but it hurts to grow, to stretch and quite frankly I was fine the way I was before, before he came into the picture.

Natal Mars the planet of young men (he is 10 years my junior) and aggression is squaring my progressed sun. The sun is your ego your identity and lately I have been working overtime on transcending my self.

I have my natal sun in the 5th house so I probably have an over sized ego. This is the house of my identity, my hobbies, my children my my my my my My mother once told me after someone broke up with me “you don’t really care its just your ego. Perhaps she was right.

I do care about him for whatever reason (residual past life crap) but yet I cannot date someone that is an alien. We don’t speak the same language we don’t see things the same way. But I can’t just toss him to the side ( I am also having a progressed Venus conjunct Sun but more on that later) I have to deal with him in some capacity socially I cannot escape him and this forces me to confront parts of myself I would rather not. He doesn’t behave in a normal fashion and for a second his behavior was extremely unsettling and upsetting to me I was angry at first  and on some days I am still angry my ego yells who are you to do this to me? How dare you promise me the sun, moon and stars and not deliver! Why would you do this to me? How dare he do this to me?  Meanwhile he behaves this way with all women. It’s a strange thing to watch someone hold themselves apart from the very things they say they desire. He has an inability to love. He lacks the capacity to have a normal relationship. He is like an extraterrestrial.  He has all these defense mechanisms up they are impossible to get beyond. I rarely ever see him exude any real sense of joy. People can only give what they have right?  I believe in astrology, introspection, and the law of attraction so I had to face some things about myself knowing: if you attracted it to you it is active with in you. So being with him forced me to examine my own levels of narcissism (clearly not pathological) and defense mechanisms .  Him and I both have Saturn in the 7th house which is known to put up barriers between you and other people. You can not take rejection so this placement will leave you before you can abandon them. We both also have self reliant moons (mine in Aries and his in the 1st house) leaning on others or being receptive to what others need in relationships probably aren’t areas we are naturally gifted. Remember his Saturn opposes my Venus so he is here to teach (Saturn) me something about love (Venus). But he is also teaching me about transcending my ego, learning to not allow others issues to become our issues that people are only operating from their own level of consciousness.

I tweeted once

“people only treat you and love you from their own level of consciousness so you have to let it all go its not personal”

I know that on mental level, it resonates with me mentally but getting the rest of me up to speed with that is another story.

And here I go again on a mission to transcend my ego.

This man will tell me I am beautiful his dream and his behavior is totally ET or maybe something out of that old Sigourney Weaver movie.

So while on one hand I may be upset I tell myself: none of this has anything to do with me. I try to treat him with love, kindness I would even go out on a limb and say I have been nicer to him than I have been to any man in my entire life (and let me tell you that shit burns my ass talk about Ego issues)

I am very reactionary and he knows this so a lot of times in typical Mars fashion he will light a fire under my ass and watch me scream at him and probably delight in it. But every time I am trying to be less and less hostile and channel my inner Zen,  I make focus wheels about him (watch my video) Make Focus Wheels to raise Vibration  I  pray on it and I have a chat with my ego I say self these are his issues stop reacting it has nothing to do with you.When people treat us a certain way it reflects what is at war inside of them and when we allow people to treat us a certain way it reflects what is at war inside of us. People that frustrate and upset us can be our greatest spiritual teachers if we would only allow them. When we meet someone and react in sorrow or anger they are showing us the aspects within ourselves that require healing. Please take the time and ask yourself what can I learn here? What are they here to teach me?

I know from meeting this man a strong desire to have a normal,  healthy and honest relationship was born from the ashes of the dreams this man sold me.

Relationships and vibrationRelationships are our mirror quote
Relationships are reflections Abraham Hicks

Now you would think it would be enough to transcend my ego but I am also having a progressed Venus conjunct natal Sun aspect. These are both exact , this is a big one they say if you have never known love before this will be it, this is “the one” progression. I can’t speak on that it will last another year I will be sure to let you know, but it isn’t enough for me to transcend my damn ego I also have to have compassion for him LOL. Sun conjunct Venus is the aspect of love.  And while a normal man that isn’t from outer space isn’t anywhere in site I wonder if perhaps this progression is teaching me compassion so every day I meditate I literally do a love and kindness meditation and send him some positive vibes. I have started to wonder how loving are we as human beings if we can only love people when they are acting lovable?  And if we want love to manifest in our own life, shouldn’t we extend our loving and compassionate nature towards those that act unlovable. After all people only love others about as deeply as they love themselves. Happy and healthy people, conscious people do not run around hurting the people that care about them. Isn’t it the people that are hurting the most the ones most in need of love? I try my hardest to show him love when I see him I hug him and treat him kindly because I recognize hurt people hurt people and wounded dogs bite.

This isn’t to say we should remain in relationships with people that hurt us, but hating them will never bring us closer to the great love we desire.  Wasn’t it Martin Luther King that said “Hate cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that”?

You can wish people love and healing from a far. I would never suggest you stay in a relationship that is unhealthy or abusive. If you think you are dealing with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder please visit my YouTube channel I have received lots of positive feedback from my videos on Narcissists. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

A lovely person on twitter suggested I read some books by Marianne Williamson that mention narcissism. I particularly found the book “A Return to Love” one of the best books I have ever read and know I will read it again and again.

Return to love

This progressed Venus conjunct natal Sun also falls in my 5th house of self so I have really began focusing on self love. I find it ironic that someone that seems to have the inability to love can teach another lessons on self love and compassion. I started doing self love Sundays on twitter I think it is important to love yourself openly and actively. Love is a verb right that’s what they said in my positive psychology class so if you want love to manifest in your life start by loving yourself only then can we extend that love outwardly. I also think there was a huge lesson or learning experience here that you have to love yourself enough to not allow other peoples behavior to upset you. Your ego says How could you do this to me but your soul says I recognize hurt people hurt people.

Last Night I was in a New Woman’s Circle and at the end of class everyone selected a different card. I received the harmony card. This to me was a divine message to A. Continue to extend Kindness and B. Continue to seek joy no matter what others are doing.

Harmony Oracle Card MeaningHarmony Oracle Card

 

 

I will leave you with some of my Self Love Sunday Tweets

self love sunday dont leave yourselfSelf love Sunday divine rightself love and jealousyself love sunday validationSelf love Sunday divine right

 

 

Happy Travels

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