My 30-something year old adult self is so far removed from my childhood self. I do not know that person, am happy I’m not that individual and can’t seem to mentally grasp what I was doing in the years up until my 20-something birthday. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted to do with my life, I sort of just floundered. No pun intended. Certainly it doesn’t help that I have Natal Neptune conjunct my Midheaven. That in itself indicates lack of direction, well unless you are an actress, fashion designer, musician or Joel Osteen.

While studying astrology I find myself looking back at pivotal times in my life for clarification on what was happening via transit, solar return and progression. I do this to better serve my clients. I have mentioned before that progressions are considered the souls evolution. They are a slow & lengthy process for instance I was born with a late degree of Aquarius Rising that progressed into Pisces at the age of 7 and remained there until I was 25 when my ascendant progressed into Aries where it remains until this day.

The Rising sign otherwise known as the Ascendant is very much a part of who you are, it is the mask you wear and what people first notice about you.

I was a wild child, my triple Capricorn/uber responsible Mother will tell you I was born with a cigarette in my mouth where she never so much as took an aspirin while pregnant with me. She should’ve known I was going to be trouble considering in the midst of giving birth the hospital had a mini black out, Hello Here I’m. Sassiness and all

Pisces in itself is a sign of self sacrifice, confusion ruled by Neptune planet of dreams & addictions. Pisces are often victims; victims of sexual abuse, traumatic experiences, victim to their own self deception I always feel like a lot of time when operating out of the more shadowy end they are lost at sea and don’t bother to question who the hell is driving this ship?

Recently while in an astrology class AKA weekly therapy someone confessed when their Ascendant progressed into Pisces they had to enter rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He stated that entire period was an odd time where he seemed out of touch with reality.

Individuals with Pisces rising, Pisces Sun or a heavy Neptune influence often fall prey to other people’s bad intentions; they can be overly trusting, manipulated as well as self destructive.

Some people with Pisces rising or Sun in Pisces

• Michael Jackson
• Demi Moore
• Robert Redford
• Whitney Houston
• Johnny Cash
• Richard Pryor
• Rick Springfield
• Janis Joplin
• Nicole Brown Simpson
• Drew Barrymore
• Rihana
• Kurt Kobain

This isn’t to say that all Pisces have addiction issues-that obviously isn’t so, many Pisces Sun or Rising individuals are compassionate people with sensitive souls; Deepak Chopra is one I can think of off hand, but others are often absorbing the pain of the world and trying to escape the sadness they feel. Escapism is a Pisces keyword.

For that period my progressed ascendant was in Pisces I had many forms of escape, I like to say I was the only kid in the neighborhood that had bars on the inside of my bedroom so I couldn’t jump out, never mind my Mother being worried about who could get it. I never hurt anyone, except maybe myself. I worked at night clubs in New York City when I was 14, I engaged in all that was lethal, I was that kid that brought liquor to the 8^th grade dance! You know what I’m talking about

“Don’t discuss anything before the age of 25”, I ask people. I don’t want to talk about it. There aren’t many grand stories (ok maybe a few), but I don’t like to reflect. Yes I had 28 jobs, too many boyfriends & way too many drinks. But that isn’t who I’m now. I laugh when people think this is all I have ever been this “together person” that I am today. I let them make assumptions on my being conservative if they only new

When my past meets my present day self, I know they still see me that way. I cringe, oh and cringe again.

My Mother tells people that hard times end when kids reach 20-something. But I can’t help but wonder what if your Ascendant progresses into Pisces when you are 20 or 30 or 50 something? When you don’t have the pleasure of dismissing your antics as merely the result of being a wild child.

At almost the exact time my Ascendant progressed into Aries I enrolled in college, I traveled extensively; people have told me I’m different in dress and speech. I embody all that is an Aries, I know what I want out of life, I would never fall susceptible to a man that thinks he can boss me around, I have a job I love, I surround myself with people that are truly amazing and gifted. I wonder who I will be in 2020 when my Ascendant Progresses into Taurus, as long as I’m not a pie baking homebody I should be alright I know the worst days are behind me now.