Saturn/Venus; Keeping Love at Bay

Published July 8, 2015 by starsmoonandsun

I have been thinking about Saturn lately. I know I have written about him before you can take a look here:

https://starsmoonandsun.com/tag/saturn-conjunct-venus/

https://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/love-is-hard-saturn/

https://starsmoonandsun.com/tag/saturn-transits/

https://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/saturn-in-synastry-round-2/

https://starsmoonandsun.com/synastry-vs-composite/let-sleeping-babies-lie-saturn-in-the-saturn/

If you are familiar with me you will know I have Saturn in the 7th house, Saturn in the 7th is similar to Venus in Capricorn, Capricorn or Aquarius on the 7th house cusp or Saturn aspecting Venus Hastag #SameShitDifferentAspect

Restriction in love

Blocks to love

Delays in love

I admittedly only recently came to realize I keep people at arms length, Saturn is cautious-Once bonds are formed with a Saturn person they know they are etched in stone, Sade’s “Like a Tattoo” song comes to mind. Personally I also have a heavy Pluto on my Sun, Moon, Jupiter, Saturn, Midheaven and Ascendant. I am prone towards extremes in dealing with people. I either love them or hate them, rarely lingering in indifference this only enhances difficulties in relationships.

Back to Saturn

A few weeks ago someone expressed to me they don’t feel I love them; they are undergoing Saturn hard transits (conjunction, oppositions and/or square) to their Sun, Moon and Venus simultaneously.  I attempted to reassure them that I do love them to no avail. They said they don’t feel I love them because of this that and the other. I thought to myself: this is so Saturn, wanting people to prove your love to them, setting a standard or a bar for how people should love you.  I thought of the quote

“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have”

Saturn/Venus can put loved ones through a series of tests wanting the other party to prove their love and devotion.  Likely the person jumping through hoops is set up for failure because Saturn sets the bar too high, Saturn can have unrealistic expectations. I contemplated how to proceed but I’m not a fan of proving myself to anyone, take me as I am or pretty much watch me as I go is my motto.

I know this person is going through quite an ordeal they aren’t into astrology and they aren’t in a state of awareness so I left the door open for them to come back… likely when this transit is over.

Saturn/Venus transits or natal can indicate issues of self worth, setting high unachievable standards for others, relationships feel like they are a lot of work, sometimes a person feels so unlovable themselves they project that out into the world feeling as though no one will love them (love is first and foremost an inside job). You can’t keep people at bay while simultaneously desiring them to love you. Life doesn’t work that way.

I confess I myself in the past have had walls (Saturn) so high with a list of requirements it would be unlikely anyone could reach.

According to Liz Green in Saturn An New Look at  A Old Devil “Venus Saturn combinations imply a certain amount of emotional pain in the early home life” it suggests lack of affection or direct appreciation for who the child is as an individual according to Greene. She further goes on to write about Venus Saturn contacts “These are people whose emotional growth has been stunted in childhood”.

Sometimes you find a Venus/Saturn person so devastated by a first love or heartbreak they cut themselves off vowing to never let anyone hurt them again.

I have known a man for several years he has Moon in Capricorn and Venus conjunct Saturn. He hasn’t been in a relationship ever nearing the age of 50 and while he is always gracious and fun (Gemini Sun), and bluntly honest (Mars on the Ascendant in Aquarius) I don’t think he will ever let anyone in. Unlike the other person I mentioned, he isnt open to love PERIOD, he isnt looking for you to prove anything to him. He seems to spend his life with people that do not know him, a superficial sort of travel and party lifestyle with various companions/friends/lovers. I saw him recently for my birthday after having not seeing him in about a year and a half. We have great synastry so its always all love, light and a natural ease when we get together. But I know he will never let anyone in. Maybe that’s a part of my own Saturn in the 7th house, attracting people that keep me out. I always have a strong desire toward prying someone open. This would never happen here, he is tightly sealed. He mentioned to me how its always easy being together, that no one in his entire life ever treated him like I do. I once bought him flowers. He is the only man I ever bought flowers for. My Mars in Taurus conjuncts his Venus I’m sure that had something to do with it. Sometimes if I see something, a quote, a cartoon, or a piece of art that reminds me of him I will send it to him. He said no one ever sends him things or touches him so light not like I do. I don’t attempt to change/mold/prove to him anything only making a mental note that the reason he surrounds himself with people that don’t care about getting close to him is so he will never have to get hurt. He prefers it that way. Recently telling me “if people see your weak spot they will only use it to hurt you”. Saturn on Venus can’t deal with the thought of rejection. If you never get close to anyone or let anyone in, no one can possibly hurt you.

This is a man with both of his feminine Planets influenced by Saturn, Moon in Capricorn (rules mom and women in his life) is ruled by Saturn and Venus the female principal is squared by Saturn. He will not acknowledge anything family wise except to say everyone loves his parents and his father is a high level attorney. Moon/Saturn or Moon in Capricorn restricts emotional outpouring. Here is another issue of feeling worthy or needing people to prove their worth to you. According to the book The Astrology of Family Dynamics Moon in Capricorn “it is not the lack of love but the ability to demonstrate or express loving feelings is diminished”. I simply wish him love, light and healing thoughts always knowing his capacity to receive love is at a limited capacity.

Right now I am going through a Saturn opposite my natal Venus transit, oppositional transits often involve people on the outside, coming to you or you can experience the opposition as a projection…those people don’t love me, those people have hurt me. Placing blame on to others what you don’t recognize in yourself that is what is happening with the person i mentioned early on.

Ultimately Saturn lessons involve; learning how to let people in, learning how to trust, learning to forgive people for not being 100% of what you want them to be; no one can meet that requirement. And if you have Saturn/Venus people in your life simply tell them I love you I am here if you need me and wish them love and light.

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3 comments on “Saturn/Venus; Keeping Love at Bay

  • This…feels familiar. I have Capricorn Saturn square retro Venus in Aries. Love seems like one of those things that only happens to other people – on television. Thank goodness for dogs and other assorted animals.

  • Hello,

    I too have a strong “Saturn signature” in my natal chart:
    – moon in Capricorn
    – moon conjunction Saturn
    – Venus in the 10th
    – Venus opposite Saturn (AND Neptune).

    I am only a quarter of a century old so the full effect of those placements may not manifest but here is my experience re these placements:

    1- Moon in Cappy with Saturn:
    Theme here is Mum/Emotional reaction/ emotional well being:
    Yes my mum is very practical and the way she expresses her love is is not always very nurturing e.g. She will cook for you/ take care of you when you are unwell etc. but she s not the type to give you hugs, or express love physically…
    Nothing bad with it once you ve grown up but as a kid I did not understand why and probably took that it meant that I was not lovable- a kid lack the knowledge to know that other people s reaction has sometimes nothing to do with him/her.
    So yes I sometimes feel “lack of love” when some situations happen but by 23 I realised it’s not true rather a limiting belief/subconscious protective reaction that may be the result of the above.
    I also came to understand after talking to a astrologist who knew both my chart and my mum’s that her actions/ reactions where more to do with her own insecurities than anything else -everyone have some.
    So now I constantly remind myself that feeling “lack of love” is nothing but a false/limiting belief and try to “reprogramme” my subconscious to focusing on expression of love rather than the reverse.
    Think about it if you tell yourself to counts every yellow card in the street you ll see many of them suddenly because you are concentrating on it – so the same way if you start focusing on paying attention to every expression of love you receive everyday you ll start noticing plenty of them – that’s what I mean by reprogramming the subconscious as over time it will become automatic- you are what you believe!

    2- Venus opposite Saturn/ Venus in the 10th

    My romantic experiences have been difficult…some plain hard!
    There are several ways of looking at it:
    On the on hand yes I have attracted and been attracted to guys who would express interest and then suddenly reject me/ some lied/ some led me on etc. for a very long time I thought it was because there was something wrong with me again linking back to paragraph 1)
    Then overtime I also realised that their reactions had little to do with me but with themselves at the moment of our interactions.
    E.g. My last love and I had what for me was a great connection but then he led me on and rejected me. It hurt like hell ( I also have Venus trine Pluto so I am really intense in my feelings) and a year later he was in an established relationships with someone else and I thought it was because I was not good enough but I later realised that he was unhappy with at the moment of our interaction so much that he was unable to value me fairly. Later he got himself together and was in a position to have an open heart and when that happened he met that other girl. Now yes in a way it is bad luck but again if he was not well enough/ prepared when together then it is what it is..
    I realised my Venus Saturn opposition diminished my ability to make evaluate properly my love choice in the sense that of course if you embark on a relationship with someone who s dealing with issues his ability to be the proper boyfriend is diminished.
    Venus Saturn also affect self worth – we could argue that I made the choices that I made because I did not value myself enough/ did not feel deserving a of better etc..
    Finally I think Venus Saturn lacks superficiality. And I choose the term “lack” on purpose. It is because that combination lacks superficiality that it suffers from rejection if it did not it would not care that much and that deeply about rejection and move to the next chapter/ love. Superficiality has its positive attributes too Here just knowing/understanding/accepting that people have different ways of loving helps. I learnt that Because a relationship did not end up in mariage does not mean it was not love – there are so many factors. Some other Venus combo actually need variety in love freedom etcetera et it’s as valid as Venus Saturn s need for longevity.
    I choose to accept this reality and keep trying until it works ( Saturn = hard task master this means trial and error until you master the task at hand. Here the task at hand is finding the mate whose needs are compatible with yours and finding that person WILL take time- time being one of the principles of Saturnian energy). Don’t give up /keep trying at the end it you will find!

    Also take time to work on your self worth – the trial and error process can be very damaging to self worth which is normal but if you work to strengthening your sense of self worth ( believe in yourself, believe that you deserve love just by virtue of being, remind yourself everyday of you positive points !!)
    You will balance out the trying effect of saturns trial and error principle. Finally patience it’s the journey that counts.
    I always remember that at the end everything will be fine and as long as it’s not fine then it’s not the end!
    Saturn= resilience use it!!!

    Note on ability to love: having a strong Saturnian signature I can tell you that it’s not that I restrict my ability to love – I am very loving- I am just selective of whom I extend it to. It’s precious so it’s good to take the time and extend quality love!

    Also check whether your challenges in love have to do with other difficult aspects? E.g Venus pout it/Venus Neptune/Venus Uranus

    Saturn is sometimes unfairly blamed for what has to do with the other planets

    Make your luck by trying! Don’t give up!
    Lots of love to you!

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