I have several hard core transits right now Pluto is opposite my sun and squaring my moon and Uranus is exactly squaring my mercury. I am familiar with the Pluto energy I have Pluto on everything natal. Not all astrologers believe this, but I think when energy is familiar to you, you will not feel the transit as much because it is already integrated into your psyche/life and what have you.
What’s doing me in is this progressed sun square natal mars:
Textbook says you will have trouble with young men (this can sometimes be a violent aspect)
If you are not familiar with progressions and how to read them click below
The Sun and Mars both represent men, the men in your life. What the astrology textbook doesn’t tell you is that man will be like an alien life form from outer space.
This is Karmic his Saturn opposes my Venus and my Saturn squares his moon At his worst he may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder at the very least he doesn’t know how to love a woman properly but somehow I am stuck with him. This is a Saturn in synastry thing it binds for better or worse that is why it is often preferred to see in the charts of people that marry they will be less inclined to skip out. However I am not dating this man nor am I marrying him but he has been sent here from outer space to drive me crazy.
I confess I know I will be a better woman for it, but it hurts to grow, to stretch and quite frankly I was fine the way I was before, before he came into the picture.
Natal Mars the planet of young men (he is 10 years my junior) and aggression is squaring my progressed sun. The sun is your ego your identity and lately I have been working overtime on transcending my self.
I have my natal sun in the 5th house so I probably have an over sized ego. This is the house of my identity, my hobbies, my children my my my my my My mother once told me after someone broke up with me “you don’t really care its just your ego. Perhaps she was right.
I do care about him for whatever reason (residual past life crap) but yet I cannot date someone that is an alien. We don’t speak the same language we don’t see things the same way. But I can’t just toss him to the side ( I am also having a progressed Venus conjunct Sun but more on that later) I have to deal with him in some capacity socially I cannot escape him and this forces me to confront parts of myself I would rather not. He doesn’t behave in a normal fashion and for a second his behavior was extremely unsettling and upsetting to me I was angry at first and on some days I am still angry my ego yells who are you to do this to me? How dare you promise me the sun, moon and stars and not deliver! Why would you do this to me? How dare he do this to me? Meanwhile he behaves this way with all women. It’s a strange thing to watch someone hold themselves apart from the very things they say they desire. He has an inability to love. He lacks the capacity to have a normal relationship. He is like an extraterrestrial. He has all these defense mechanisms up they are impossible to get beyond. I rarely ever see him exude any real sense of joy. People can only give what they have right? I believe in astrology, introspection, and the law of attraction so I had to face some things about myself knowing: if you attracted it to you it is active with in you. So being with him forced me to examine my own levels of narcissism (clearly not pathological) and defense mechanisms . Him and I both have Saturn in the 7th house which is known to put up barriers between you and other people. You can not take rejection so this placement will leave you before you can abandon them. We both also have self reliant moons (mine in Aries and his in the 1st house) leaning on others or being receptive to what others need in relationships probably aren’t areas we are naturally gifted. Remember his Saturn opposes my Venus so he is here to teach (Saturn) me something about love (Venus). But he is also teaching me about transcending my ego, learning to not allow others issues to become our issues that people are only operating from their own level of consciousness.
I tweeted once
“people only treat you and love you from their own level of consciousness so you have to let it all go its not personal”
I know that on mental level, it resonates with me mentally but getting the rest of me up to speed with that is another story.
And here I go again on a mission to transcend my ego.
This man will tell me I am beautiful his dream and his behavior is totally ET or maybe something out of that old Sigourney Weaver movie.
So while on one hand I may be upset I tell myself: none of this has anything to do with me. I try to treat him with love, kindness I would even go out on a limb and say I have been nicer to him than I have been to any man in my entire life (and let me tell you that shit burns my ass talk about Ego issues)
I am very reactionary and he knows this so a lot of times in typical Mars fashion he will light a fire under my ass and watch me scream at him and probably delight in it. But every time I am trying to be less and less hostile and channel my inner Zen, I make focus wheels about him (watch my video) Make Focus Wheels to raise Vibration I pray on it and I have a chat with my ego I say self these are his issues stop reacting it has nothing to do with you.When people treat us a certain way it reflects what is at war inside of them and when we allow people to treat us a certain way it reflects what is at war inside of us. People that frustrate and upset us can be our greatest spiritual teachers if we would only allow them. When we meet someone and react in sorrow or anger they are showing us the aspects within ourselves that require healing. Please take the time and ask yourself what can I learn here? What are they here to teach me?
I know from meeting this man a strong desire to have a normal, healthy and honest relationship was born from the ashes of the dreams this man sold me.
Now you would think it would be enough to transcend my ego but I am also having a progressed Venus conjunct natal Sun aspect. These are both exact , this is a big one they say if you have never known love before this will be it, this is “the one” progression. I can’t speak on that it will last another year I will be sure to let you know, but it isn’t enough for me to transcend my damn ego I also have to have compassion for him LOL. Sun conjunct Venus is the aspect of love. And while a normal man that isn’t from outer space isn’t anywhere in site I wonder if perhaps this progression is teaching me compassion so every day I meditate I literally do a love and kindness meditation and send him some positive vibes. I have started to wonder how loving are we as human beings if we can only love people when they are acting lovable? And if we want love to manifest in our own life, shouldn’t we extend our loving and compassionate nature towards those that act unlovable. After all people only love others about as deeply as they love themselves. Happy and healthy people, conscious people do not run around hurting the people that care about them. Isn’t it the people that are hurting the most the ones most in need of love? I try my hardest to show him love when I see him I hug him and treat him kindly because I recognize hurt people hurt people and wounded dogs bite.
This isn’t to say we should remain in relationships with people that hurt us, but hating them will never bring us closer to the great love we desire. Wasn’t it Martin Luther King that said “Hate cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that”?
You can wish people love and healing from a far. I would never suggest you stay in a relationship that is unhealthy or abusive. If you think you are dealing with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder please visit my YouTube channel I have received lots of positive feedback from my videos on Narcissists. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
A lovely person on twitter suggested I read some books by Marianne Williamson that mention narcissism. I particularly found the book “A Return to Love” one of the best books I have ever read and know I will read it again and again.
This progressed Venus conjunct natal Sun also falls in my 5th house of self so I have really began focusing on self love. I find it ironic that someone that seems to have the inability to love can teach another lessons on self love and compassion. I started doing self love Sundays on twitter I think it is important to love yourself openly and actively. Love is a verb right that’s what they said in my positive psychology class so if you want love to manifest in your life start by loving yourself only then can we extend that love outwardly. I also think there was a huge lesson or learning experience here that you have to love yourself enough to not allow other peoples behavior to upset you. Your ego says How could you do this to me but your soul says I recognize hurt people hurt people.
Last Night I was in a New Woman’s Circle and at the end of class everyone selected a different card. I received the harmony card. This to me was a divine message to A. Continue to extend Kindness and B. Continue to seek joy no matter what others are doing.
I will leave you with some of my Self Love Sunday Tweets