Emotional Vulnerability & a little bit of astrology 

Published October 11, 2017 by starsmoonandsun

Emotional Vulnerability I was raised by a Mother with a Scorpio moon and Venus in Capricorn; “never let them see you cry” was literally the directive. That and “never write anything down you wouldn’t want the world to read” and yet here I am tweeting and blogging my life away.  I believe; write it down and free your soul. Give form to your pain and perhaps we can be free of it.

This week I cried in front of someone so I have to take a week or so to collect myself. You know Cancer we are either all in or all out and when we feel overly exposed we go in and no telling when we will come out. We don’t like feeling exposed. Think of the Chariot Card in Tarot ; that is the Cancer card he hides beneath armor just as crabs hide within a hard-shell and Cancers hide in our houses when we feel unveiled ?Cut open? Bleeding out?  Preferably with wine, under the covers with Netflix an Ipad and a flashlight.

I am self reliant right that’s Aries Moon; we don’t need anyone else The Moon rules your needs, Aries is the sign of me, myself and I. The Aries Moon is Ruled by Mars; I am more comfortable with anger  I will happily spar and perhaps I will joyfully display fits of passion any day over a wellspring of Cancer tears. I also have Saturn in the 7th  I mean there is a reason I’m 40 and not married,  this aspect and  Saturn in hard aspect to Venus can  be indicative of the lone wolf , we can spend a lot of time alone and have barriers set up between ourselves and others.  

Insert man who has Neptune opposite all of my personal planets and my Neptune squares his Moon, Mars and Mercury; we are formless. We don’t have any barriers the veil is thin I once touched him and felt his solar plexus and sacral chakra. It was like putting my hand in another dimension

My relationships/friendships require form; right Saturn in the 7th house relationships look like business partnerships This is me, this is you, this is who we are check off ✔️ those little boxes everyone is neatly filed .

 Not with Neptune no way Jose He floats on by in a cloud of ethereal smoke and I dissolve Who am I? Who are you? Is this platonic? Do you want to have sex? What are we? What is real? What is not? I may never know the line is not visible though I often wish one of us would draw it. So I can see the perimeters. Maybe that’s the key not knowing letting it just be, not needing things to be labeled Perhaps giving up the desire to understand everything in my fucking existence We aren’t concrete I can not affix a label on him that says “we are friends” ”We are nothing” because some how we are a kaleidoscope of colors projected into space hidden beneath a puffy cloud of confusion. At this point I have decided to give in to the process because I’m so over feeling confused about it. 

Waves tiny white flag

We can have a neptunian “cordial-ship”

I surrender!

Or so I think! 

To be continued …

In another dimension 

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Sometimes you just have to go with it

Published July 29, 2017 by starsmoonandsun

Often people will ask me if they should take a job during Mercury Retrograde and I will say, “Do you have a job” and they will say “No” and I will say,  “hell yes you should take the job”. I think people that are not astrologers think astrologers are always looking at the stars to make all of our life decisions and it really isn’t that way; at least not for me. Would I avoid travel during Mercury Retrograde almost always, would I be hesitant to go on a date during Venus Retrograde sure; but I rarely let the stars stop me.

Besides over the years I have wondered how much being aware really helps, sometimes I think we can really do little to stop the hands of fate.

I have read for many people over the years you tell them; you are having a Neptune/Sun transit not really great for trusting partners but they fall in love anyway.

I see that Uranus is transiting your 5th house; if you don’t want a child use a contraceptive 9 months later you are a baby shower.

Sometimes things just happen and sometimes those things are a part of what shape us.

mistakes make our fate

Someone had emailed me wanting to know if they should go on vacation, they had some concerns Saturn (Lord of Karma, restrictions and delays) was transiting there 9th house (home to long distance travel) and I said 100% go ahead I traveled to Costa Rica when Saturn was in my 9th and Italy I believe. I was around much older people during my trip to Costa Rica this is a Saturn thing; older people, older places, older things.  And Italy pretty much speaks for itself for all of the Saturian things you can see there.

This time I went to Peru, I have Saturn exact opposite my Jupiter ~Jupiter is the planet that rules far off destinations. This transit is very tiring, you know Saturn squeezes the life out of whatever it touches when it opposes Jupiter its your enthusiasm.  I booked my trip anyway knowing this, I thought if anything I will just be lethargic this trip.

It turns out while I was there Peru had a strike going on and it caused a lot of issues for tourism ( Click link below for further reading)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/the_americas/peru-protesters-strand-tourists-at-machu-picchu/2017/07/12/ec6dae8e-673b-11e7-94ab-5b1f0ff459df_story.html?utm_term=.9d697e0cd89a

So the trip was very touch and go there was one time a group of  us were up on top of these ruins and our Tour Guide announced we had to leave, it was a little push and pull and at the worst I would say it was not seamless, but I got to see everything on my list, all of my hotels were lovely, and the people I met on my travels were amazing! And I wouldn’t undo it if I had the chance, it was perfect.

So this is my little PSA to those just getting into astrology that sometimes you have to make your  own sun and believe in the best, believe in the possibilities. You can be cautious, you can be aware, you can have a plan B, and sometimes your gut will tell you this isn’t the job, vacation, or lover for me and when it does honor that, but sometimes transits can be just hiccups not defining moments. Astrology should be a guide but not a substitution for your inner compass.

Bill O’Reilly harassment allegations & his afflicted Moon 

Published April 13, 2017 by starsmoonandsun

I do not know anything about Bill O’Reilly as a person or someone as an on air personality. He has very bad energy so he isn’t someone I care too watch. I personally think the entire energetic field surrounding Fox News is dark like someone needs to come in with a huge sage and wipe it clean.Having recently read about the sexual harassment claims looming over Bill O’Reilly I took a moment to look at his chart.

I do not believe in public crucifixion, I strongly believe in every ones right to a trial. I do believe in due process with all that being said Bill O’ Reilly has a severely afflicted Moon to the 10th power LOL

The moon in a persons chart indicates many things, early home life, emotional responses, eating habits, the relationship with the mother & for men it is very significant of the relationship they have with women; the type of women they attract and essentially by aspect how they relate and feel toward the women in their life.

As a woman if I met Bill O’Reilly and ran his chart after a first date I would not be available for a second. It’s challenging to be polite, dreadful if I am being completely honest.

Bill O’Reilly has his natal moon in Aries this is not a comfortable place for the moon this usually signifies turbulent home life or turbulent relations with women. This is the energy of Mars (God of War) filtered through the planet that rules emotions and women .
His Moon ( emotions) opposes his Mercury (planet of communication/ Messenger of the Gods) This makes for a person that often allows his emotions to interfere with his reasoning (Mercury) ability

Bill O’Reilly also has Moon opposite Venus (Bill Cosby has the square) This is a red flag for me in terms of dating This man often has more then one relationship going on at the same time. He is conflicted between what he seeks in a wife (Moon sign) and emotionally (Moon sign) and what he seeks in a girlfriend or how he relates to women (Venus) He doesn’t feel the woman he seeks is available in one package. This man is conflicted. And finds it hard to relate and navigate relationships with women. The moon and Venus are both feminine principals. “Emotionally both the male and female with this oppositions gave difficulty in relationships” writes the brilliant Betty Lundsted in her book Astrological Insights into Personality.

The word “Relationships’ doesn’t only imply personal intimate relationships; we have relationships of all kinds and I believe Bill O’Reilly has difficulty with all the women he encounters.

Lundstead goes on to say the male with this aspect “doesn’t really like his own emotional nature; he doesn’t really like his mother and he therefor doesn’t really feel comfortable with women” This dislike of women can manifest in the abusive treatment of women” Lundstead goes on to say.

To me that aspect is always a major red flag I can not stress that enough.

As if this wasn’t enough O’Reilly also has Mars (God of War & Planet of aggression) forming a square to his moon and Venus To me this signifies a man that is abusive toward women, pushy on women, Let’s not forget Mars also corresponds with Sex These aspects also create a man may love a woman but she isn’t the type he wants to ravish sexually . Lundstead writes “the excess of this aspect tends to make one angry” Mars aspecting the moon is almost a double influence of the Aries moon O’Reilly has been accused of domestic abuse toward his ex wife and clearly his chart is a reflection of that energy.
Lastly he has moon opposite Neptune (Bill Cosby has the conjunction) This man usually has difficult understanding what a woman should be. Remember Neptune is what we don’t see clearly; men with Neptune on the moon often categorize women as a whore or a saint they have difficulty understanding women. Lunstead writes “men get a distorted image of what a woman should be when they have this aspect”

If you want to know how a man will treat you follow the moon and if it looks like this run for your life
Xo

I am wide awake; Uranus Mercury Transits

Published April 11, 2017 by starsmoonandsun

wide awake.gif

I am hardly polite on a regular day with Mars in my 3rd house sextile my Mercury but this transit (Uranus square natal Mercury) is something else. My mouth is like a loaded gun held by Betty Broderick, I just say things.  I won’t say I don’t mean these things, I do still I would rather they went unsaid.

 I am not a patient person by any means with a natal Aries moon I do not wait ever but now my impatience is of epic proportions like none, zip, zero.

The worst part of this transit is possibly my inability to sleep even though I am exhausted!!!

I can be impolite but I can’t walk around f$#ing exhausted

Mercury is the messenger of the Gods it rules our mental faculties, the way we think and how we communicate.

Uranus rules electricity, it’s called the “Great Liberator”, it governs flashes of insight, lightening, it is actually considered the “higher octave” of Mercury.

When they meet by a square aspect this shows stress and I promise you I am stressed that I can’t sleep.

I can not confess I had any flashes of brilliance and if they ever do come I hope they arrive mid day while i am at the gym or with pen in hand

But for right now It isn’t like I am up all night writing novels or giving astrology readings. I am just up tossing and turning a glass of wine, a sleeping pill, it doesn’t matter I am still wide awake

Last night I slept 9 hours and 9 minutes but was restless for 43 of those minutes according to my Fitbit but I promise you I feel as though I haven’t slept at all. This transit lasts through 2018 Here is to hoping I don’t have to wait till then to sleep

I am wide awake by Katy Perry is the theme song

A little bit on Saturn, Pluto and Death

Published March 1, 2017 by starsmoonandsun

I am not one that looks for death in the natal chart or horoscope When someone passes away I do look to see what was happening at the time but I don’t linger. To be honest when I think of death I think of the planet Pluto. Pluto after all is associated with Scorpio and the 8th house of sex death and taxes. Pluto I am beginning to think more often than not  doesn’t refer to necessarily a literal death but can be a spiritual or metaphorical death. The symbolization of Pluto is the phoenix rising from the ashes if you have a heavy Pluto like I do you are continuously going through this purification process where parts of you keep dying and you keep being reborn though quite frankly I hardly feel like a phoenix.

I had made note a while ago mentally that when someone I love dies I usually am having a Saturn transit (not a Pluto transit), sometimes its people that pass away and other times it’s a part of myself that has died. They say the hardest transits of Saturn are though the water houses

The water trinity represents the beginning of life (4th house) the end of life (8th house) and the afterlife (12th house)

4th house rules mom/home/family the 4th house is also the root of the chart so when a planet transits here it digs up whatever is buried. The 4th house is associated with cancer and rules the cradle to the grave Saturn placed here often indicates hardship in childhood there can be blocks to allowing others to get close to you

The 8th house is governed by Scorpio and here we find deep sharing, this is also the house of transformation, sex and other people’s money. Most importantly it governs forces beyond our control. Saturn restricts whatever it touches so sometimes here we miss out on a inheritance, or we have trouble completely bonding with another but most importantly I think this can be a person that resists change. Saturn is the authority in astrology the Lord of Karma this is the house of the underworld ruled by Pluto. These are two heavy hitters, but Pluto IMO trumps Saturn there is only one constant in life and that is –change- to resist it is futile.

The last water house Is the 12th house ruled by Pisces this is the house of self undoing, this is the last house in the natal chart and is associated with endings.  Whereas the 4th house rules the cradle to the grave, the 8th house rules death here the 12th house is associated with life after death. A lot of things die when a planet transits this house. I had been inquiring about a man and every time I pulled a tarot card or anyone else did it was the 8 of cups. I ran his chart and he has Saturn transiting his 12th house, this card is associated with Saturn in Pisces I love when life connects like that, effortlessly. This Tarot card is associated with the dark night of the soul , it is also known as abandonment  and in the Thoth deck indolence. When Saturn transits here just as in the figure we have to leave many things behind. Saturn or any outer planet transiting here calls to our attention the things we  have stuffed in the closet, the parts of ourselves we chose to not look at. And once we have faced these things and said many goodbyes we have our new beginning when Saturn crosses the Ascendant-that will be our life after death.


I have been thinking about death lately, maybe because parts of me feel like they are dying. I had an eclipse fall in my first house but I have Solar Arc Pluto sitting exactly across from my Ascendant, there is little literature on this aspect but I have no doubt it is relevant because I am unraveling at godspeed.

I have been thinking that Pluto has a more so of a regenerative quality to it with its endings and Saturn maybe has more permanence, and perhaps when Pluto strips parts of us or removes something from our lives it had more of inevitable feeling to it. I always take Pluto over Saturn, I am comfortable in a way in darkness, in changing, and even though I am unraveling at god speed I would still take Pluto over Saturn transits any day.

I always say

With Pluto you can climb out of the fiery pits of hell but at least you will be reborn.

Saturn rules karma it is considered the great malefic with Saturn being associated with Karma and some say the results of past life actions you don’t know what you are being served. Saturn is often associated with the Grim Reaper historically, he is known as father time, Saturn the word itself is very closely associated with Satan I don’t know much about word origins but I have no doubt that something about Saturns influence can be merciless. Some say the rings around Saturn represent the idea of Karma or what goes around comes around. I have heard other people refer to Saturn’s rings as protection  or what keeps people at bay….any of us that have Saturn Angular know this well.

I happen to find my father’s death certificate the other day and was semi surprised or semi not surprised at how influential Saturn via transit was in his chart, my chart and my mother’s chart on the day he died.

My father died on his first Saturn return  ( I do not have a time of birth) A Saturn return occurs the first time around the ages of 28-30 this marks the time that Saturn returns to the same position it was at your time of birth This period is often notable for the result of past actions up until that point.  Heath Ledger is someone that comes to mind that passed away during his first Saturn return, Amy Winehouse was another.  There is a long list on the internet of people that died at 27 just prior to their Saturn Return Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison.  Karmicly speaking they say you come into this incarnation having already chosen the path so maybe some people fulfill their life’s purpose in a shorter span of time.

In any event my father died during his Saturn return. Here is his chart

On the day he died you can see Saturn literally just entered my 8th house so here you have the grim reaper of astrology entering the house of death Saturn along with the Sun and the Midheaven are all related to the father. Saturn was opposite my moon and square my sun. Saturn in Libra is historically a very difficult transit for me I had it in 2010/2011 as well. Parts of me died during that time I will never get back

My mother’s chart for the day my father died


She had Uranus planet of unexpected conjunct her moon the moon rules her 8th house of death. People often overlook this in transits. So yes Uranus conjunct moon is unexpected (Uranus) emotional (moon) news but about what???? You have to look to see what house the moon rules. Here it is the 8th house.

My mom also had Saturn in Libra squaring her Capricorn sun just like I did. The sun rules the men in your life Saturn to Sun transits are always difficult. Things likely do not go your way you are low on vitality, you often feel depressed and burdened.  Perhaps you meet men (sun) you have past life (karmic ) ties with. I was once advised never marry someone during a Saturn Sun transit when It is over you will wonder what the hell was I doing?

Saturn/Sun here we have death meets men, lord of time meets us, The sun is our vitality, our ego and our identity when someone close to us dies before their time or what we deem as before their time I have no doubt perhaps that a part of us dies with them.

Which do you find more accurately depicts death Saturn or Pluto?

 

Solar Return Moon in the 1st house; a change in appearance 

Published February 17, 2017 by starsmoonandsun

My solar return moon is conjunct my solar return Ascendant this most often shows up as pregnancy in a woman’s solar return chart but it also indicates a change in appearance Where ever the moon is in the natal chart or by progression or solar return we experience a fluctuation . Just as the moon changes and goes in phases so does the placement of the moon. The 1st house or Ascendant is literally the way we look! The way people see us ..
This year combined with the solar return moon in the 1st house, the Pisces eclipse is in my first and my solar arc Pluto is exactly opposite my Ascendent . Pluto transforms what ever it touches; the first house rules the way you look or it can be the way you present yourself The Pisces eclipse new moon in the first is a new way of looking & a new way of presenting yourself
I; for starters have been very upset over aging lol my mom asked what I want for my 40th birthday I said to be 30 maybe 35 lol People tell me all the time I do not look my age (I’m sure venus in Gemini helps) but still the process has been stressful to say the least
I had to have some major cosmetic dental work done that I didn’t want to have and I am not entirely happy with the results and i have lost count over how many tears I have cried over this. People’s staring at me asking me what I did different it’s annoying I said to my mother if I surgically put a big ass in no one would say anything and she reminded me that people always talk about me, watch me, inspect me so anything I do would be discussed (natal Neptune in the 10th everything is a scandal even when it isn’t)

To combat aging I started Botox treatments every 4 months and I have 0 regrets I would recommend everyone get Botox it’s a win win! I also had some restalyne injections and am considering Genesis Lazer treatments to promote collagen! Did I mention the solar return moon is in Leo…clearly I am pulling out all the stops in typical Leo fashion. Lol
I don’t know what will be the end results it’s seems like a mixed bag to be honest it’s isn’t easy when planets are in the 1st house, an eclipse hits there or when a planet crosses the Ascendent we have to find new ways of being, new ways of presenting ourselves which can be difficult so as I find new ways of adjusting to being 40 and looking differently I suppose I should be happy I am not having a geriatric pregnancy which quite easily could have been the other manifestation of this energy
Xo

Mars in the 3rd house 

Published January 8, 2017 by starsmoonandsun

Where Mars is placed in the natal chart is where we exert a lot of energy it can also be where we experience conflict.Mars is the God of War it rules young men in the military, it is associated with sex, aggression and action. 

Today I held the door for someone in my building that was carrying a lot of stuff and she snapped at me “I don’t need you to hold the door for me” and I replied calmly “no problem next time I will let it slam right it your face” and as I got into my car I thought about all the conflicts I have had with my neighbors in a period of 2 years. I want you to understand I’m rarely home I’m always at work I do not have parties I hardly even watch tv I am not in anyone’s business I do not care what other people do. Yet I had one woman call security on me for being over my line in my parking space I wasn’t in her space I was actually on the line. Security was banging on my door while I was at home sick to repark my car -she must be a Virgo- another time I was putting my wash into the dryer when a woman clawed me she physically attacked me because she wanted my dryer- even though her wash was not done. This was on the day of an eclipse to my moon (ruler of home) she actually made me bleed. 

The 3rd house rules your mode of transportation (I drive fast) it rules communication (I’m blunt and honest) it rules mental facilities (my mind never shuts off I sort out problems in my sleep) it rules mobility (I have been told when I walk by I’m so fast people feel a breeze) The 3rd house rules writing and communication (Clearly i put a lot of energy into blogging tweeting etc) and the 3rd house also rules neighbors so it’s not uncommon to have disputes with neighbors. I wouldn’t let them run me out of town; I will sit at my pool, work out in my gym, enjoy my parking space and 24 hour security and if they don’t like me that is their issue not mine. I will refrain from holding the door, make sure I park with in my lines, do wash late at night when everyone is asleep and when I m confronted by some nasty ill mannered bitter Betty I will smile and say go fuck yourself 

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