I think I have Venus Retrograde running through my veins

Its 6am and I m awake I think I have Venus Retrograde running through my veins. The days I can’t sleep are rare…today is one of them. Venus is on its way to turning retrograde in the industrious sign of Capricorn in my 12th house of endings, secrets, karma, seclusion, subconscious, a lot of what we don’t see and yes self-undoing. Some Capricorn keywords are work, worth, responsibility, and seriousness. Capricorn is an earth sign so dependability and practicality are celebrated when planets are placed in the sign of the mountain goat.
Venus hasn’t even catapulted into full on retrograde motion and I have already begun to feel it. That quiet review of my finances, coming up with a financial strategy (Venus rules money) Next year should I go on Vacation (Venus rules enjoyment) or remodel my kitchen (Venus also rules beautification) perhaps I can work like a maniac (Capricorn) and do both. But then there is the other side of Venus, the side that speaks to your heart that in Taurus fashion (ruler of Venus, along with Libra) has us questioning what is of value? Do things and people that we once placed on a Venusian pedestal still have value in our current lives? Revelations I want to put the brakes on it, too late it is already in its shadow period and I feel that sudden uprooting of things I would rather not know, see or feel. How very 12th house of me. I’ve already had my first contact from ghosts of hook ups now past. We use to work together, how very Venus in Capricorn. He said to me you are meant to be someone’s wife not just a girlfriend and I thought this is very Venus in Capricorn, know your worth. After seeing him I had my own revelations about myself, how once I’m done with someone there simply isn’t any turning back. This is probably why I struggle with relationships. It is important that they keep momentum that they always stay fresh and new. I also began to think about endings. When things end for me they usually are engulfed in flames and how only a few years ago I was desperate for a happy ending. But now I much prefer an ending that is etched in stone that has bridges set a blaze behind me. So you know that it is done and you can’t turn back even if you wanted too. This has also brought me face to face with feelings that I keep turning a blind eye too over a friendship that suddenly dropped off, that didn’t come equipped with that definitive end. How something that once seemed bathed in beauty (Venus), is now nothing. When we first met I recall thinking I want to look at them every time like it’s the first time with all that wonder and amazement. But now it’s like I don’t know them, like I never knew them. I have tried several times to reach out to them, I am not sure why maybe because this ending was unsatisfactory to me. Only to realize that there is no satisfactory ending when you don’t want things to end. I reached out and I reach out and that sudden revelation that I’m the only one reaching and this is it. This is the end. ( oh so 12th house).There isn’t any going back, and I should stop trying to meet someone half way that doesn’t want to meet me at all, this current situation is no longer of any value. Venus in retrograde reassessing what is worth it? Self-undoing never is, make sure you are getting a return on your investments. I tweeted today “nothing real ever dies so what we had was never real”. Capricorn is enduring, long lasting, so let’s remember to have 2 open palms this Venus retrograde one to release all unhappy endings and one to catch some new beginnings once she goes direct January 31. Upward and onward my friends knowing when to hold them and when to fold them seems to be on this year’s holiday menu.

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