Yesterday was a busy day; all the days lately are busy between working 16 hours & trying to find time to redecorate. My mind is in over drive, I have post-its in a 100 places to remind me: you need window treatments, the carpet guy is coming in July, the couch guy is coming next week and you are working your days off the last week of June. As my mind wonders who the hell am I going to get to hang a canvas I bought? I drive to my second Home Depot of the day because the 1st didn’t have enough door knobs. I needed 3 they had 2. Only to come home & find that NONE of the 3 fit although the Home Depot man said they were universal but after many attempts trying to figure it out I relented, it just wasn’t happening. After I had to get in the car & drive to Queens park the car & get on the subway into Manhattan to attend astrology class & I fought back tears as I ranted internally: I m so fucking tired how did I get to this place where I’m doing everything! While also wondering   what is a wall sconce and why can’t you just drill it into any place on the wall.

Truth be told: I never wanted to be this person that had to do everything! (Natal cardinal t square: I’m that person) As I slide into class my beyond well versed astrology instructor said: those with Sun square Moon are not comfortable with themselves.

Here I am

It couldn’t be more true. I am all too aware that the Moon represents your emotional reactions and needs. The Moon in Aries is not a comfortable position. Moon in Aries needs to get things done ASAP our wants feel like needs, we cannot differentiate. Aries is a yang energy where as the Moon is feminine planet. There is a conflict. All I wanted was to be someone’s Step-Mom (or so I believe) and stay at home& bake cookies! Cancer Sun wants that; we long for intimate connections, we enjoy staying home, we want someone to nurture us & in return we will love you forever. But Aries Moon is impulsive, action oriented we want to go go go! A montage plays in my mind of the people I could’ve dated long-term the men that could have hung my curtains but eh I didn’t like the way one chewed his food, he didn’t pull out my chair, or that one was boring. Venus in Gemini needs to keep things interesting, Saturn in 7th takes commitment seriously; all dates are interviews for me like can I look at this man’s face forever. So I leave class unsure of how to reconcile my Cancer Sun & Aries Moon, I hop on the train, get into my car and drive to Home Depot number 3 to return the door knobs get new ones, install them, lay on my bed & cry my eyes out dreaming of the day I can sit by my pool, write a novel (Sun in the 5th) & start online bakery business (Cancer Sun)

When a person has Sun square Moon or Sun Opposite Moon (A Full Moon baby) they can struggle in relationships; also what they want (Sun) and what they need (Moon) are not in alignment. Often these are children who had parents that were not together prior to the child’s birth, were divorced or separated early in the child’s life or the parents themselves were not happy with the roles they played within the family.

I have heard these aspects are some of the most challenging aspects to have in the natal chart.

Astrologer and Author Betty Lundstead wrote of the square aspect

“when a child is born with a square or opposition between the Sun and Moon some kind of hostility is indicated between the Mother and Father……………..This makes it difficult for the individual to find a comfortable place in the universe. The nurturing qualities of the Moon are in conflict with the creative self. The person is at odds over what to be and what to feel”.

Astrologer Jeanne Avery writes in her book Astrological Aspects Your Inner Dialog

“When the Moon is square the Sun in the natal chart, the anima part of the personality can be in conflict with the animus. Emotional energy may be blocked due to lack of recognition early in life, and that lack of emotional support can damage a healthy development of a strong sense of self-worth”

In Planets in Aspect Robert Hand writes regarding the Sun/Moon opposition:

“You have a natural conflict between your emotions and your ego and you unconsciously communicate this psychological hang up to your associates, family, friends and even your romantic partners”

Personally I think the key to reconciling these two distinctly different but equally influential opposing forces is to embrace the diverse facets of our personality structure. For every person that will be different. Also embracing the fact that one person can not be everything to us so we have to find activities and interests outside of our romantic partnerships that are also fulfilling. Honoring all parts of ourselves is key as is finding a partner that can do the same. I want emotional and financial security that is the influence of my Cancer Sun; it is what it is. But at other times I need to go off and do my own thing; maybe get on a plane and spend some days somewhere by myself; that is my Aries Moon. The right partner will embrace all the parts of us, but I believe it first starts with us embracing and honoring our own multidimensionality