I’m not sure I will ever get married. I said it. I wrote it. I acknowledge it. Most importantly I’m ok with it or at least on my way to becoming ok with it. If love isn’t everything it is nothing. I can’t walk that line that others do, having relationships that are more like friendships and roommates. No, that life isn’t for me. I want it all. Fuck I have Sun in the 5th house the house of romance and I’m not giving that up so I can have someone to help me pay my bills or so that I have a plus 1 response on wedding invites. Recently an ex of mine who I work with (How very Venus in Capricorn retrograde) one that I left, one who still holds resentment toward me for breaking up with him nearly a decade ago made a snide comment about my not being married. And in the past I think it would have hurt, maybe I would have cried but I didn’t and it doesn’t. And quiet honestly I breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn’t in that head space of needing to be married to somehow be defined as a person or as a woman. This isn’t to say I will get over people asking me why I’m not married or why haven’t I met someone. I find this question to be rude, it seems we live in a society where it is better to have a loser husband that cheats and can’t hold a job than no husband at all. I can see why in my natal chart I’m not married. It is very clear, I have Aquarius rising this is a loner trait, Venus in Gemini can’t make a decision…like the thought of forever can be scary I don’t even want to renew my cell phone contract for 2 years. And that god awful Saturn in my 6th house conjunct my Descendent; the house of marriage. Saturn restricts whatever it touches; it issues delays, lessons and hard work.
Just yesterday for the 1st time I noticed Capricorn is on my 12th house cusp-the house of self undoing-ruling planet Saturn- touching my house of marriage. The 12th house is also privy to past lives, transcendental experiences and I would think this adds another layer to my personality to my partner preference; that is just can’t be anyone, the connection has to be outer worldly and sometimes those connections are hard to keep, to firmly establish in this 3D dimension.
I recently did a post on makeup artist Kandee Johnson she has Saturn conjunct Venus ; I think she is in her 30’s and has been married a few times (maybe twice), this is very indicative of Saturn on Venus. You fall in love so you want to get married. She makes her life’s work from a Venus ruled field of beauty and obviously she takes love seriously. Love is marriage, love is commitment and yes love is hard work. These are all Venus Saturn themes. I almost fell over while doing research on women with Venus and Saturn in aspect and found Patti Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker) has Venus Square Saturn no wonder she isn’t married! I know she has received some bad press over the years for giving advice while she herself is still single, but truth be told often those that can’t do ….teach. I don’t mean this to sound harsh but it is true. Here is another example of Venus on Saturn; Patti’s life work is a Venus ruled field; her work (Saturn) is matchmaking (Venus). I find this fascinating. Saturn Conjunct the Descendent, Venus in Capricorn, Saturn in the 7th house, Saturn square Venus, Saturn opposite Venus all produces a central theme. Love is hard to find, love is hard to come by, love is hard work, often this can produce an inequality where one partner does more than the other, relationships can also have a 7+ year age difference.
Everyone wants to know why Cameron Diaz is single so I looked at her chart…Cancer rising puts Capricorn on the 7th house cusp; Tyra Banks also has this configuration, Lucy Liu has Saturn square Venus and at the time of writing this has never married she is 47. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn; obviously delays in marriage. While I don’t particularly find Cameron Diaz appealing I admire the way she rocks her single status and Tyra Banks is a power house! Does being single define them…I hope not! The gorgeous and extremely talented Marissa Tomei has never been married and she is 49, her time of birth isn’t published but I imagine she has Saturn in the 7th house especially since she recently became engaged to a man 12 years her junior! Ellen Pompeo married at 37, Selma Hayek at 40, Diane Sawyer at 42, Rosie Perez 49, ….all of them have Venus/Saturn in aspect. Marisa Hargety got married for the 1st time at 40 & she glows! She has Saturn square Moon; the Moon rules her 7th house of marriage.
I’m not saying it is easy, it isn’t. The person with Venus is aspect to Saturn takes commitment seriously, we want someone to share our lives with, but somehow underneath we know that relationships take hard work and we want to make sure we marry or commit to someone where we see a return on our investment. When we say our vows we want to mean them! I know this aspect in hard to live with, so many people have written to me. I think the key is to develop your own sense of self, make your life as meaningful as possible, remember being single is a choice….anyone can find some Joe Shmo off the internet and marry him and most importantly remember that Saturn is all about timing, biding time, father time, in due time, in a matter of time. And gently remind people that make rude commentary that you aren’t like everyone else; you are waiting for the right time and for the right person. Best of luck. Wishing all my Saturn Venus peeps nothing short of a great love. I ll leave you with a few quotes. xo
Twelfth Night at the beach
The waves lap gently on the shore
A crab scuttles along the water’s edge
A man tends his fire on the beach
Cooking the two fish
That he caught that morning
A woman emerges from the sea
He looks up
She joins him by the fire
Warming herself in its glow
The crescent moon smiles upon the scene
The stars twinkle in the indigo sky
The planets offer their blessing
They eat the fish in silence
Beneath a blanket
They talk long into the night
Sharing untold stories
Of past lives and loves
Dawn breaks upon the distant horizon
The incoming tide quenches the fire
They cast aside the blanket
And swim towards the rising Sun
I think it’s part a matter of acknowledging we aren’t like other people that are ok with mediocre relationships 🙂 keep me posted…5th house Venus …nice
you are completely right, thanks for the post! i have venus in taurus H5 opp saturn in scorpio R H11 …… hard aspect, i better work out on this one.
Ahah. And what of Venus quintile Saturn ? Why, tis music to the ears !
Yes I should’ve said at least 7…,odd I never had that but I’m open to it. Saturn or the moon in the 7th house indicates marrying a parental figure
Hi! Thank you for this post and the previous about Kandee Johnson! I have Venus conjunct Saturn in Capricorn… (along with Uranus and Neptune) Indeed, it is not an easy aspect to live with, but I tend to hope that one day, I will finally find somebody to share my life with. Interestingly, I have always been attracted to either older or younger types of men 🙂 For the older ones, it is much more than a 7-year-old gap…. Sometimes, 13/14 years of age difference