Sometimes you are Damned if you do damned if you don’t

Published July 26, 2013 by starsmoonandsun

solar retun chart
I looked at my solar return chart months prior to my birthday and saw that I had my solar return Venus on my natal Saturn. Venus the planet of love on Saturn the planet of restriction, duty, commitment, and time. Timing is everything, how very cliché. Venus doesn’t go well with Saturn, they don’t hold hands. One is light and love and well the other is work. I thought this can’t be good. No you should not look at one aspect you have to take the entire chart into consideration blah blah blah but being single I want to know where my moon (feelings) and Venus (heart) are going to be for the year. 2012 was good year I had Saturn in the 3rd house of communication and thought so I spent a lot of time writing and it was nowhere near my moon or Venus. I’m going to tread lightly here, but this year Venus is in the 10th house of career and Saturn is in my 6th house of daily work; draw your own conclusions on how we met. Looking at this year’s solar return the energy was vaguely familiar so I looked back on my Solar return charts since 2009 when I first met my “plutonic love” and this only enhanced my state of awareness. Damn astrology. I had Scorpio Rising then as well, Saturn in the 7th restricting my relationships, moon in the 12th; feelings that lay secret. 2010 Saturn yet again in the 7th restricting relationships, my moon was in the 4th house; the 4th house is the darkest part of the soul it rules the cradle to the grave and lastly in 2011 when my “plutonic love” married someone else I had Saturn Conjunct moon in the 5th house of love affairs falling into the 8th house of transformation. A recipe for heartache. From 2009 – 2011 were very difficult times for me. I had a lot of sorrow. I mean those years were the catalyst for all I do today, the reason I moved, the inspiration for this blog, those years defined who I’m today, sadly sometimes joyfully but always definitely. So here we are 2013 and I meet someone, I like I never like anyone, sadly. I called my friend when I met him and explained the charts and said I can’t go through this again. Then went to see my own astrologer, I didn’t mention anything and he said this year is a good time to have an affair, (Gay men gotta love them they are so liberal). I myself clearly can see this Venus conjunct Saturn in my Solar Return indicating this is a man I like that has prior commitments. Just like the Saturn in the 7th house for my other 2 solar return charts. 7th house equals relationships Saturn literally can indicate a man with commitments, where Saturn lies there is restriction and hardship. I thought to myself; you cannot go down this road again this road that leads nowhere this path that is nothing more than a cul-de-sac where you end up where you started. I’m not in the mood for a transformative journey because I have been transforming since 2009 and I’m tired. Oprah once said; lord don’t teach me nothing new today”. That’s how I feel. I decided to choose differently, because I didn’t want to be in that place because I know that I’m not a light sort of person, I know if I like you I have the great capacity to love you and I’m unable to have just a good time. So I chose differently, I choose to acknowledge that this person is fascinating, but I will do nothing about it. When you know better you are suppose to do better. Isn’t that the idea to learn from the past and not repeat it? Someone tweeted the other day: We must all suffer one of two things the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment. That’s where I’m at emotionally I wondered if I could avoid my destiny, avoid what is in the chart? And I can say yes and no. I decided to not jump in head and heart first like I always do, but Venus is still on that Saturn and I still do like a man that has prior commitments. What up with you and your solar return? xo

PS a fabulous Gemini recommended I watch the movie TIMER I think considering Saturn in Astrology is considered Father of Time and timing is indeed everything, it is worth a mention.

timer

3 comments on “Sometimes you are Damned if you do damned if you don’t

  • Great post!

    This is how I feel about my natal chart — damned if I do – damned if I don’t!

    I pray, Lord, don’t teach me nothing new for the rest of my life. No more hard lessons!

    Thanks to the master teachers of the zodiac, Saturn, Neptune, Pluto, and Uranus, I think I’ve got it!

    NAMASTE’

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