All the cardinal signs are feeling the crunch; YES hello that is you Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. Look at your natal chart and see where you have cardinal planets or points to see where Pluto planet of transformation is at work, for me Pluto is opposing my cancer sun (Capricorn is opposite of cancer) and squaring my Aries moon. While Pluto is digging, shall I say gutting out the cardinal signs in some manner, Uranus planet of sudden change is placed in Aries and will soon square my sun and conjoin my moon. If you are a cardinal sign the universe has undoubtedly signed you up for some dramatic changes, like it or not. For better or worse. For me the first of these changes have begun with Pluto conjoining my progressed Midheaven in Capricorn. Just as human beings do not stay the same, we change we grow, our chart changes somewhat and this is known as progressions. That is the short story.

This is what Pluto has in store for those of you that have a midheaven in a Cardinal sign; death, rebirth and transformation. In my previous post I explained how the people I work with have similar patterns in there solar return indicating we would experience some level of change in the year. How much change quite frankly I was unable to see although I knew it wouldn’t be good. It has been beyond not good, it has been excruciating and I feel as though someone is gutting me like a fish. Someone said to me I have to get use to it and “I’m sorry you don’t like change”. Uh no that couldn’t be further from the truth, I’m a Aquarius rising I enjoy shaking up the status quo My 8^th house (home to transformation) holds Uranus and Pluto, I breathe change, I laugh in the face of it….ordinarily. Now today at the present moment; not so much.

I now know how people feel that work in corporate America and watch people in the cubical next to them pack up a box and go; I wonder who will be at work when I return from my two days off. Once my boss saying “We didn’t know if we should call you or we shouldn’t. We didn’t want to bother you on your days off”. I’m like call me; I want to know who is no longer employed prior to getting to work.

There is apart of me that wants to hide, if I’m 100% honest I want to hide away from the world. Why didn’t I become an accountant I yelled the other day. Truth is I can’t add or use a calculator;) I’m not in a position to hide, to run, to take 3 months off to catch myself; I work in a customer service based industry, a place where I’m told 3 people were laid off and 5 were fired but go outside and make sure to smile! My colleague that is on reduced work week, meaning she comes in occasionally said wow this place doesn’t even feel the same. Indeed I feel like we are dying in a way. Pluto rules death not always in a literal sense.

I’m a big fan of change but I’m not of the belief that all change is good, or that change for the sake of change is progress….quite frankly it isn’t.

Many people have been laid off and the powers in charge chopped our shifts quite frankly going into work I have no idea who I will be working with. Every day is like a surprise. When I walk into the building I say “Welcome to so & so where your future is unclear and your nipples are always hard”. I swear they have lowered the heat in an attempt to save money. So we attend daily meetings that are prefaced with plastic smiley faces and we have the pleasure of having smoke blown fully up our ass as they strip the marble from underneath our feet. Pluto rules renovation so it should come as no surprise liquidators are buying furniture, I can guarantee the once beautiful floors will now be updated with carpet. Termination, transformation, renovation…what is next will be anyone’s guess.

When this first began to transpire I thought I was going to be the pillar of strength, instructing co- workers, let’s not complain it will only make things more difficult. I do maintain that complaining solves nothing and it is my hope I will become tight lipped and loosen my firm grip on the reality that I have so firmly held onto that no longer exists. That one day I’m not crying in the bathroom on my lunch break. I will go with the flow more on Monday I tell myself, I will let go, that’s what I told myself last Monday Ok maybe NEXT Monday . Maybe next Monday I will feel better.

I work a late night shift now so I have to go to the grocery store and battle the senior citizens wheeling there cart without a care in the world because they have nowhere to go. It’s like some sort of bumper cars for the over 80. I use to go at midnight when it was empty, but now I’m still at work. To go to work, I leave around the same time the kids get out of school and are shocked daily at the audacity of women in minivans double parked or driving like lunatics to get their children from school. I find people in this country that have children think this entitles them to a lot including the 1^st 50 parking spaces at target. Uh no. I have shit to carry too.

So I drive and I park by Plutonic loves parents house daily because he is the closest block to the train where I don’t have to feed a meter, I pray to never see him because quite frankly these days I’m not very happy. I rush into the day battling the New York City wind with my purse obviously, a lunch box because the food in my work cafeteria is no longer editable and I secretly swear they are attempting to kill us in order to avoid laying us off and having to pay unemployment, so with my purse, my lunch box Oh and my other bag with my uniform because our lockers have been under renovation for a year I scurry onto the train only to have my bag break, my lunch, my clothes and my tampons flying to the floor insuring I miss my stop. I gather my stuff with the assistance of gentlemen that looks like he probably throws up gang symbols in his free time. It’s been a hard week I said; taking a seat contemplating riding the train till the last stop just to catch a breather, all this transformation is exhausting here is too hoping next Monday is better and if not next Monday perhaps the Monday after that.